guestservices | AUDIENCE FOR: Lup

It is not, actually. It's getting harder. One, the whole randomization thing is really killer, because I can't rely on thinking anybody will have murder hands and kill someone specifically because of a grudge.

And two, the longer I'm here, the more I care about people.

So it's just... guessing. And hoping I don't fuck up.

Everything functions differently than it did at your station, then. Where people killed just because they could. [...sigh.] Caring about people is a burden, but it's one we must carry lest we become shadows ourselves.

...you've been doing alright so far. Don't lose your focus.

Trust me, I know. It's been a fuckin' adjustment.

[but.] Thanks. I'm okay, this week. I get to tell someone that I'm doing this, so... it feels a little lighter.

[well. lup's talking but gemini is eating food because it's here? and it's breakfast time.]

I had to outline differences for Jason before. It doesn't surprise me there are a few of you who are struggling with the learning curve. [but they seem to perk up a bit at that.] A confidant? Someone that can at least help carry the weight.

[it's fine, she's not eating! c:]

Hah. No, yeah! Uh, Jason is so out of his element here it's not even funny. [but anyway.] Definitely. I have to decide still, but... it'll probably be Harrow.

[lup your food.]

...Miss Nonagesimus is a good choice, considering what you've mentioned of her. You trust her then?

Oh, absolutely. Smartest girl I know besides me. [ear flick.] I thought about Cloud, but... I don't want him to know I saved him, and uh. Jason's hardheaded.

And I love Mollymauk to death, I do! But I think Harrow might stab me herself if she gets shafted any further. She already was ready to dunk me in the toilet when I told her I got an extra ticket.

I don't suppose I'd blame you. Better to have as an ally than someone who may pose as a threat due to pettiness later. [but it sounds slightly more amused, like they don't think harrow would actually do that.]

...I hope she will be of help to you then.

[a little laugh.] True!

... I hope so too. I know she will, actually. [a beat.] How's your food?

Then I've no doubts in that choice. [food...]

It's delicious as always. Probably better than I could manage myself. Thank you again.

Sure thing.

[anyway i did actually change my mind because i made her sad in vulpecula's thread and i had to fix it. surprise stardust!]

[WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS STARDUST, ACTUALLY. there's a surprised sort of sputter, and suddenly there's a memory and gemini goes still as this plays out.

when the dust settles, they seem to be staring at lup from under their veil. they're still, not quite moving but just...kind of processing that.]

...Taako. [...] You really are similar in so many ways.

[taako.

there's a pause, and then:]

... He did remember me. [she says, absently. and then, like she's realized they said something:] Um, yeah. Well, duh, we're twins.

Of course he would remember. He's your heart, isn't he? [...] And a bond like that doesn't seem so easy to erase. Twins aside, I'm sure there are plenty of siblings that aren't as alike.

True. I guess Mavis and Mookie are nothing alike. [a beat.] Uh - my friend's kids.

... Taako is my heart, you're right. [she tucks her hair behind her ear.] I miss him.

Mm. [that seems to be all they comment on regarding the first part. they're sitting still in their chair, still watching her for a moment as if debating what to ask, because...]

...you'll save him. You did the first time, didn't you? [a beat.] But that...wasn't from the station. Was it?

No. It wasn't, which is absolutely buckwild. Why am I getting memories from another me?

[no comment on whether or not she'll save him, because she doesn't want to work herself up with it.]

Why are you asking me? I've no idea how this works. The whole thing is...erm. Preposterous, to say the least.

[so yeah, it is buckwild.]

Has...this been happening all morning?

[she glances at them.]

Yep. Happened first thing in the morning to me and Cloud. I assume you haven't run into it yet.

No. [...] Perhaps it's better that way? It seems, well, quite intrusive?

[...]

Wait, does that mean you've seen some of Cloud's memories now?

[her ear... flicks... and she looks Away]

It does, yeah. [she will Not Be Specifying]

Oh. [. . .]

I think...maybe it's best if...

[but they don't get to finish their sentence. there's another bright burst of stardust showering over them (and also their pancakes, rip), but it settles into a memory.

You're nervous. It's not really a feeling you're familiar with, something you'd link more toward some of your friends than yourself. You have your moments of insecurity, of course, but for the most part you think of yourself as someone confident in everything that you do.

But here, underneath the lights and away from other people, you find your palms sweating a little and your tongue sticking to the roof of your mouth. There's no one else to hide behind, and no pressing matters to attend to.

It's just the two of you, and you're kind of scared to call this a date. What if it isn't a date? What if this really is just another day for the two of you to hang out because it's easier to spend time together and talk than most things these days?

You've kept plenty of her secrets by now. Both of you have been lying to friends you've made and people you know but it was really for the best. Nobody has to know the plans you've made and the things you've orchestrated in order to survive.

This isn't about that though. Maybe this is just a break, a treat, a kind of self-indulging moment you normally wouldn't dream of taking when there's a job to be done. You think about the way she says you should get a chance to take a break sometimes, and you resist the urge to tell her that being around her is a break. You've never really done this before, and you think she probably has more experience than you do, but maybe she doesn't care?

She takes your hand, and you realize that no. She doesn't care. She doesn't care about the things you aren't quite saying, the fears you refuse to explain, because you're together. The tall structure ahead of you makes you feel even smaller than usual but you find yourself pulling her along to catch a lift. Higher and higher you go, the two of you pressed together and when you turn to look at her...

...all you can think about is how beautiful she is, and how you want this to last as long as possible. Someday isn't really a promise, but even knowing the end is coming, that things may fall apart at the last minute like you know they can, all you want to do is focus on this one person you trust yourself with more than anything.

And when she kisses you, everything about the situation at-hand doesn't seem to matter anymore. Here, in this private little part of the universe high above everyone else and away from the rest of the group, all that matters is a mutual feeling that you don't want to ever lose.

...the stardust fades, and gemini is frozen in their place, completely silent.]

[WHO THE FUCK IS THE GIRL i have a suspicion and i'm gonna piss if i'm right]

... Oh. Huh. [a beat.] Well, that's embarrassing.

[well. it's a little difficult to tell, but. you know. lup might vaguely recognize her which i'm only giving you because you already guessed in your dm.]

. . .

[what if. they just. don't say anything at all.]

[i'm going to sue ty for everything she's worth i can't stand this

anyway there's a pause, and then:] If it makes you feel better, I'm also embarrassed.

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