AUDIENCE FOR: Lup

[guestservices]

mostly void, partially stars.

❤

Comments

[evocationary]

[she makes a fart noise with her mouth.]

Well, I slept! So uh, I'll take that I guess. [them always being late is killing me i'm already ascending] What a clusterfuck.

Do you guys, uh, know who did what beforehand?

[guestservices]

That's putting it way more politely than I ever would. [haha. but they stretch their arms over their head for a moment.]

Mm...depends. What're you actually asking and how much is my answer gonna depend on you still talking to me?

[evocationary]

[she laughs at that.]

Uh, well, I'm asking if you knew about Harrow, and look, I'm not about to stomp my feet and be like why didn't you tell me, NPC staff who clearly can't tell us anything at all ever, especially not about murders!

[guestservices]

[well!]

Let's just stick with the answer of "let's not worry about it right now."

[evocationary]

That's a fun answer.

Anyway. I guess it's not important. Or, uh - well, no, it is. It's actually the only thing on my mind, but I don't get anywhere with all y'all with this sort of thing, so uh - the answer to your question is the weekend is over and I slept at least an hour in a warm bed, so I'm like, good.

[guestservices]

[she might get the sense they're rolling their eyes.]

You can complain about it if that's where you're going. [. . .] Should you maybe, like, sleep more though? Most people probably need more than just an hour.

[evocationary]

No, I don't even feel like complaining about it. It happened. I'm kind of - like, in this zen state? Nothing matters. Is this what nihilism is?

[she ignores the sleep question]

[guestservices]

No, go a little left from the depression. Try nirvana, that's probably closer.

[it is possible they are both stupid and mildly delirious.]

[evocationary]

[YOU CAN'T GET ON HER ABOUT NOT SLEEPING WHEN YOU DON'T]

Isn't nirvana like, bliss, though? I am nowhere near bliss. That's like, uh... hm. I lost my train of thought. [...] Anyway.

Do you like the cat?

[guestservices]

It's also the realization of emptiness, and in some places it's a band. [haha. but. the cat is still here and they're looking at it again.]

...it's pretty cute. Keeping yourself busy?

[evocationary]

Oh, right, it is a band. I forgot.

[anyway] Trying to. It's getting close to the point where I told Cloud I was probably going to die, so I'm trying to leave keepsakes so people remember me forever.

[guestservices]

...hang on, do you wanna rewind that for me a little? What do you mean?

[evocationary]

Huh - oh. I told Cloud I have to survive until at least week four, and he got real T.O.'d and so I extended it to five.

[this explains nothing]

[guestservices]

[. . .]

You are lucky I like the cat or I would crumple it up and throw it at you.

[evocationary]

Why is this always the response.

[a beat.] Look, it'd just be dramatically appropriate, is all. I don't want to die.

[guestservices]

Then maybe quit expecting yourself to do so. [they. seem a little mad?]

[evocationary]

[a pause.]

... Okay. [she tilts her head.] I can't really promise anything.

[guestservices]

Maybe not, but you can at least stop--[...

okay. never mind. they just pause for a second and lean against the front desk.]

...I get it. Coping with the possibility by trying to prepare for it.

[evocationary]

[a deep breath.]

... Yeah. It's scary. I can't really afford to, you know? There's a lot of people who need me. A lot of people who trust me even though they maybe...

[and then there's stardust!]

[guestservices]

[. . .

there is stardust! and it settles, leaving aquarius to quietly witness that and think things through.]

...Lup, if you end that sentence with "even though they maybe shouldn't", I'm walking away right now.

[evocationary]

[her ear flicks, and she doesn't say anything!]

[guestservices]

[the temperature around her drops just a tiny bit.]

Lup.

[evocationary]

[she flinches.]

Stop - stop it, I'm just saying. It doesn't matter. They - they do. I know they do.

[guestservices]

I mean it...sort of matters if you're still questioning it, but I get it. I get why you are, but I also just watched Harrow tell you that she still trusted you and liked you despite knowing you had plans to feed her to an abomination.

[evocationary]

[it's like her brain is trying to remind her of this while she struggles with having put herself down for protection instead of harrow or like, aikawa, for instance]

It just - doesn't make any sense to me, sometimes. But it's okay, it's fine, just. Can we move on.