AUDIENCE FOR: Lup

[guestservices]

mostly void, partially stars.

❤

Comments

[evocationary]

Fine. [she says, after a second, waving her free hand.] Just. Um. Trying to not - cry, I think. Hold on.

[guestservices]

...okay. [they linger back and just...give her a little space. they also go quiet while they wait.]

[evocationary]

[when she thinks she can speak without her voice breaking, she does.]

You didn't get to save her?

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[. . .

silence.]

...she had been gone for a while by the time I saw her again. [what lup just saw.] And when I did get a chance, later...when I went back to find her and change things...she had already disappeared.

[she had already moved on without them.]

[evocationary]

[she can't help this instinct i'm sorry but she just reaches and takes their hand gently? loosely.]

I can't - I'm sorry. [she keeps thinking about taako, about this, about the similarities in emotion, if not exactly situation.] ... I wouldn't be able to see straight if that'd been me.

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[the hand is still cold, and they jump a little like they aren't expecting it and aren't used to the touch, but they allow it.]

...it's been a little while since then. I've made my peace with it. [finally.] ...but for a really long time it was all I wanted to do. All I could focus on was saving her and bringing her back to stay with me.

[evocationary]

Well.

[her ear flicks, and her mouth is kind of dry. she laughs, humorlessly.]

I mean, I - same? Like boy, do I relate to that.

[guestservices]

Yeah, well...[they figure. given who her hostage is.]

...I used to think maybe if I just worked harder or got stronger I could make things right. And then too much time had passed. So all I can do is move on.

[evocationary]

[augh. her heart hurts. she squeezes their hand once, and then lets go.]

It's still with you, though. It still hurts. [she says, softer.] Sometimes harder and stronger doesn't get you there, even if you try.

[it doesn't sound like a lecture, though, it's more... empathizing.]

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[they pull their hand away to return to their side.]

Of course it does. [they easily agree.] But, uh...people. Once you stop pushing them away, surprisingly they can kinda help.

[evocationary]

[her ear flicks.]

That was a pointed statement if I've ever heard one.

[guestservices]

[they just. pause. and seem surprised.]

Wait, was it?

[evocationary]

No! I'm projecting!

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[SCREAMS.]

...you're not always great at actually letting people in either, are you.

[IT WAS LIKE A POINTED STATEMENT AT THEMSELVES, BUT NOW LUP INVITED THIS.]

[evocationary]

[I'M CRYING SHE WANTS OUT OF THIS CONVERSATION LET HER OUT]

Maybe. Anyway. [she's leaving bye off towards somewhere on campus idk where and she doesn't either]

[guestservices]

[they just.

watch her speed off.]

You're going the wrong way, by the way!

[THE MUSIC ROOM IS THE OTHER WAY.]

[evocationary]

[she wants death please just kill her

she just stops like super far from aquarius and puts her hands on her face and yells into them. muffled.]

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[they just...kind of fold their arms over their chest and stand there.

across the lawn.

staring at her.

ok.]

[evocationary]

[after a minute she comes back

and just gives them a flat look]

I haven't slept more than like two hours consistently for like four days, can you cut me some slack for being... like this.

[guestservices]

[they. open their mouth to say something before deciding against it.]]

Seriously, should you be up instead of napping? [they say, like they also shouldn't probably go back to bed.]

[evocationary]

I don't want to hear that from you, Mr. I'm Late Every Time You Ring My Bell.

[don't be like this you're the one who rings their bell on sundays you butt]

[guestservices]

Okay that is different. And I'm not always late!

[they just usually are a little late on sundays.]

[evocationary]

[sniffs.]

No, not always, I guess. [...] I'll sleep later. I just - don't, I like checking up on you guys.

[guestservices]

...well we like when you're resting and not driving yourself into the ground. But I get it. I probably get it way more than you think.

[evocationary]

It's not usually like this, I just - Harrow has had me freaking out all weekend. And Aikawa died, and...

[a pause.]

I don't know if you can. And it's okay if you can't or won't, but if you see Aikawa again, will you tell him I'm sorry?