[They will hopefully not let Ben get stolen by random people.
He glances up at the stairs and hms. If he peeks into the elevator, can he see if the button or the switch goes to a P? Very funny if there's an elevator person in here he runs into.]
[There is a button for the penthouse, but it requires a key. You think randos can just go to the owner's place as they please? Also yeah, there is a person on this elevator staring at Jason, waiting for him to press a button. Hello?
The public stairs unfortunately only go up to the second floor. A rando is jogging up and down them, probably for exercise. He gives Bradley an understanding nod.]
smiles and waves at the person in the elevator, then disappears out of it. LISTEN, he just wanted to make sure there was a definite way to get there like he assumed. He will return to Bradley.
Hello, weird jogging fellow on the stairs.]
Elevator is penthouse, but it needs a key. Want to look around the second story?
Up they go to the second story! It doesn't look too much different from the first, aside from the door that reads EMERGENCY EXIT. Near the door are two security guards, whispering to themselves.]
He gets interrupted by the second extremely RUDE civilian who wanders up specifically at this moment to see this piece. He really considers telling them that they're looking, to scram, but he doesn't.
He isn't really in the way himself, so he GESTURES for them to use their eyeballs to see it from where they're at.]
[He's not intimidated by your rifle, Bradley!! Anyway, even though Jason wouldn't fuckin move, he slides into the space Bradley sort of freed up. He then gestures for his girlfriend to come over and starts giving her very inaccurate details about this work of art. The Thinker was crafted by Raph*el Da Vinci...
Unfortunately, because of him, the guards' conversation is now drowned out.]
Jason didn't really move too far away from the couple initially, and now he sort of scoots up a bit closer. He waits until Bradley has moved on before he just
really reaches up and grabs a hold of this poor idiot guy and starts kind of shaking him. Imagine if this guy could fight. He sort of yells:] Hey! What the hell do you think you're doing, buddy?! [HELP.]
W-Wha—!? What are you doing? Let go of me! Help! Help! A twunkish hunk is assaulting me!
[His girlfriend just kind of steps back, bewildered, but also whispering that's an oddly specific description. This guy attempts to knee Jason in the crotch.
Anyway, the security guards are running over here. WHAT'S GOING ON, IS IT NERD ON FAKE NERD VIOLENCE.]
[Bradley can get in through the emergency exit is the only thing that matters here.]
What are you doing! Hey! You guys asleep on the job? This imposter was absolutely trying to go for the--
[This feels like Lepus karma. Going back to the hotel with a very sore dick. OW! It at least gets him to let go of the guy so he can instead sort of hunch.]
I'm being attacked by a thief who thinks Starry Night was painted by da Vinki!
Who are you calling an imposter and a thief!? And for starters, I am completely correct in this regard. You can see da Vinki's brushwork in the painting! Hmph, amateur. What school did you even go to?
[The guards look like they're steadily losing track of this conversation. The girlfriend continues to watch.
Meanwhile, Bradley can go up the stairs! It leads down to the ground, if he wants to flee from the scene altogether. But I guess it also leads up to the penthouse, which is unlocked because apparently no one ever expected anyone to use the emergency staircase ever.]
[WhAT THE HECK. He may have been ball checked, but HIS ARTISTIC KNOWLEDGE IS QUESTIONED?!]
What? First of all, it's da V*nci! Second of all, van G*gh did Starry Night because it's an impressionist painting, and he's an impressionist! Both of them were born about three hundred years apart and don't even have the same kind of art styles!
And to correct your earlier statement: The Thinker was carved by R*din! And he'd be pretty pissed to hear you give it to your spliced version of R*phael and da V*nci!
[To the woman:]
The bar is so low here. My advice? If you like art, you need to find a better guy who isn't going to feed you lies and try to steal from a museum.
[The poor idiot guy splutters. Meanwhile, his girlfriend is slowly nodding.]
... You know, you're right. [a beat] Are you still single?
[The security guards begin heading back because it doesn't seem like they're needed here...?
Meanwhile, over with Bradley:
It doesn't look like anyone's in right now! There's a lot of fancy shit here "what fancy shit" just picture an obnoxious rich person's place. But yes, he'll notice a hook with a set of several keys.]
[THIS POOR GUY. He points to himself for a second. WH... Well. He does not remember anything important here, and Jan did not give me any romantic backstory so:]
Uh, yeah, I guess I am...?
[Snatching this poor man's woman right out from under him. He should be killed.]
no subject
He glances up at the stairs and hms. If he peeks into the elevator, can he see if the button or the switch goes to a P? Very funny if there's an elevator person in here he runs into.]
no subject
He looks up the stairs. Do they just go up to the second floor of the museum or do they keep going?]
no subject
The public stairs unfortunately only go up to the second floor. A rando is jogging up and down them, probably for exercise. He gives Bradley an understanding nod.]
no subject
smiles and waves at the person in the elevator, then disappears out of it. LISTEN, he just wanted to make sure there was a definite way to get there like he assumed. He will return to Bradley.
Hello, weird jogging fellow on the stairs.]
Elevator is penthouse, but it needs a key. Want to look around the second story?
no subject
Bradley nods to this guy on the stairs.]
Might as well.
[He's walking up the stairs now. They need to know the thieves point of entry too, don't they? Might be a weak spot on the second story.]
no subject
Up they go to the second story! It doesn't look too much different from the first, aside from the door that reads EMERGENCY EXIT. Near the door are two security guards, whispering to themselves.]
... lly need to tell... larm not working...
no subject
He nudges Bradley and then sort of jerks his head as if it indicate the guards and the door. He taps his ear.]
no subject
If they get called out, he can say he got lost in the sculpture or some other bullshit.]
no subject
Gotta get the maintenance guys on it...
Whatever, it shouldn't be too much of a problem. Who's even going to use those stairs?
[A random civilian comes up to Bradley and Jason.]
Sorry, would you mind stepping aside? I want to look at that piece.
[You're in the WAY.]
no subject
He gets interrupted by the second extremely RUDE civilian who wanders up specifically at this moment to see this piece. He really considers telling them that they're looking, to scram, but he doesn't.
He isn't really in the way himself, so he GESTURES for them to use their eyeballs to see it from where they're at.]
no subject
It's very brave of this dude to see a guy with a rifle and be rude to them.]
no subject
Unfortunately, because of him, the guards' conversation is now drowned out.]
no subject
He reaches out to grab Bradley and bring him closer. Whispering:]
I’m going to create a distraction. I need you to go through the emergency exit to see if you can go up any higher.
[He nods in another direction as if telling Bradley to go around by taking a walk. Will this go well? Maybe not. It’s fine.]
no subject
A nod and then he starts walking off. He'll make his way back to the emergency exit. ]
no subject
no subject
Jason didn't really move too far away from the couple initially, and now he sort of scoots up a bit closer. He waits until Bradley has moved on before he just
really reaches up and grabs a hold of this poor idiot guy and starts kind of shaking him. Imagine if this guy could fight. He sort of yells:] Hey! What the hell do you think you're doing, buddy?! [HELP.]
no subject
no subject
W-Wha—!? What are you doing? Let go of me! Help! Help! A twunkish hunk is assaulting me!
[His girlfriend just kind of steps back, bewildered, but also whispering that's an oddly specific description. This guy attempts to knee Jason in the crotch.
Anyway, the security guards are running over here. WHAT'S GOING ON, IS IT NERD ON FAKE NERD VIOLENCE.]
no subject
What are you doing! Hey! You guys asleep on the job? This imposter was absolutely trying to go for the--
[This feels like Lepus karma. Going back to the hotel with a very sore dick. OW! It at least gets him to let go of the guy so he can instead sort of hunch.]
I'm being attacked by a thief who thinks Starry Night was painted by da Vinki!
no subject
no subject
[The guards look like they're steadily losing track of this conversation. The girlfriend continues to watch.
Meanwhile, Bradley can go up the stairs! It leads down to the ground, if he wants to flee from the scene altogether. But I guess it also leads up to the penthouse, which is unlocked because apparently no one ever expected anyone to use the emergency staircase ever.]
no subject
What? First of all, it's da V*nci! Second of all, van G*gh did Starry Night because it's an impressionist painting, and he's an impressionist! Both of them were born about three hundred years apart and don't even have the same kind of art styles!
And to correct your earlier statement: The Thinker was carved by R*din! And he'd be pretty pissed to hear you give it to your spliced version of R*phael and da V*nci!
[To the woman:]
The bar is so low here. My advice? If you like art, you need to find a better guy who isn't going to feed you lies and try to steal from a museum.
[HE'S HOMEWRECKING THIS NICE COUPLE'S OUTING?]
no subject
Bradley's going up to the penthouse.
He'll put his ear against the door to see if anybody's close. If they aren't, he's just walking right in.
We're looking for keys. Particularly keys that look like they'll fit into Ben's box. ]
no subject
... You know, you're right. [a beat] Are you still single?
[The security guards begin heading back because it doesn't seem like they're needed here...?
Meanwhile, over with Bradley:
It doesn't look like anyone's in right now! There's a lot of fancy shit here "what fancy shit" just picture an obnoxious rich person's place. But yes, he'll notice a hook with a set of several keys.]
no subject
Uh, yeah, I guess I am...?
[Snatching this poor man's woman right out from under him. He should be killed.]
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)