CYOA week 5: cloud, sebastian, bradley, jason

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[unrecked]

[He is pretending he is not listening to the guards talking about the alarm, but he is definitely listening. So the emergency exit is a thing. Hm.

He nudges Bradley and then sort of jerks his head as if it indicate the guards and the door. He taps his ear.]

[battling]

[He's absolutely listening, but he's also looking at one of the pieces of art that's nearby.

If they get called out, he can say he got lost in the sculpture or some other bullshit.]

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[Bradley pretending to be into art is killing me. Anyway, they can keep eavesdropping.]

Gotta get the maintenance guys on it...

Whatever, it shouldn't be too much of a problem. Who's even going to use those stairs?

[A random civilian comes up to Bradley and Jason.]

Sorry, would you mind stepping aside? I want to look at that piece.

[You're in the WAY.]

[unrecked]

[Stairs...

He gets interrupted by the second extremely RUDE civilian who wanders up specifically at this moment to see this piece. He really considers telling them that they're looking, to scram, but he doesn't.

He isn't really in the way himself, so he GESTURES for them to use their eyeballs to see it from where they're at.]

[battling]

[Moves slightly closer to the security guards and continues to look at this art piece.

It's very brave of this dude to see a guy with a rifle and be rude to them.]

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[He's not intimidated by your rifle, Bradley!! Anyway, even though Jason wouldn't fuckin move, he slides into the space Bradley sort of freed up. He then gestures for his girlfriend to come over and starts giving her very inaccurate details about this work of art. The Thinker was crafted by Raph*el Da Vinci...

Unfortunately, because of him, the guards' conversation is now drowned out.]

[unrecked]

[This woman needs to get better standards but maybe she is into morons. Unfortunate.

He reaches out to grab Bradley and bring him closer. Whispering:]

I’m going to create a distraction. I need you to go through the emergency exit to see if you can go up any higher.

[He nods in another direction as if telling Bradley to go around by taking a walk. Will this go well? Maybe not. It’s fine.]

[battling]

[ Lady, you Can do better. Bradley might but be from Earth but he knows when somebody's got no clue what they're talking about.

A nod and then he starts walking off. He'll make his way back to the emergency exit. ]

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[The guards are still there, hanging by the emergency exit and talking to themselves. They are so bored.]

[unrecked]

[This is going to be terrible, but it's fine.

Jason didn't really move too far away from the couple initially, and now he sort of scoots up a bit closer. He waits until Bradley has moved on before he just

really reaches up and grabs a hold of this poor idiot guy and starts kind of shaking him. Imagine if this guy could fight. He sort of yells:] Hey! What the hell do you think you're doing, buddy?! [HELP.]

[battling]

[ Bradley can't even be here to judge Jason on his distraction strategies because he's not in this room. ]

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[THIS POOR IDIOT GUY IS SO STARTLED.]

W-Wha—!? What are you doing? Let go of me! Help! Help! A twunkish hunk is assaulting me!

[His girlfriend just kind of steps back, bewildered, but also whispering that's an oddly specific description. This guy attempts to knee Jason in the crotch.

Anyway, the security guards are running over here. WHAT'S GOING ON, IS IT NERD ON FAKE NERD VIOLENCE.]

[unrecked]

[Bradley can get in through the emergency exit is the only thing that matters here.]

What are you doing! Hey! You guys asleep on the job? This imposter was absolutely trying to go for the--

[This feels like Lepus karma. Going back to the hotel with a very sore dick. OW! It at least gets him to let go of the guy so he can instead sort of hunch.]

I'm being attacked by a thief who thinks Starry Night was painted by da Vinki!

[battling]

[ If the guards are gone from the door, Bradley's going in and going up them. ]

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Who are you calling an imposter and a thief!? And for starters, I am completely correct in this regard. You can see da Vinki's brushwork in the painting! Hmph, amateur. What school did you even go to?

[The guards look like they're steadily losing track of this conversation. The girlfriend continues to watch.

Meanwhile, Bradley can go up the stairs! It leads down to the ground, if he wants to flee from the scene altogether. But I guess it also leads up to the penthouse, which is unlocked because apparently no one ever expected anyone to use the emergency staircase ever.]

[unrecked]

[WhAT THE HECK. He may have been ball checked, but HIS ARTISTIC KNOWLEDGE IS QUESTIONED?!]

What? First of all, it's da V*nci! Second of all, van G*gh did Starry Night because it's an impressionist painting, and he's an impressionist! Both of them were born about three hundred years apart and don't even have the same kind of art styles!

And to correct your earlier statement: The Thinker was carved by R*din! And he'd be pretty pissed to hear you give it to your spliced version of R*phael and da V*nci!

[To the woman:]

The bar is so low here. My advice? If you like art, you need to find a better guy who isn't going to feed you lies and try to steal from a museum.

[HE'S HOMEWRECKING THIS NICE COUPLE'S OUTING?]

[battling]

[ Nerd.

Bradley's going up to the penthouse.

He'll put his ear against the door to see if anybody's close. If they aren't, he's just walking right in.

We're looking for keys. Particularly keys that look like they'll fit into Ben's box. ]

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[The poor idiot guy splutters. Meanwhile, his girlfriend is slowly nodding.]

... You know, you're right. [a beat] Are you still single?

[The security guards begin heading back because it doesn't seem like they're needed here...?

Meanwhile, over with Bradley:

It doesn't look like anyone's in right now! There's a lot of fancy shit here "what fancy shit" just picture an obnoxious rich person's place. But yes, he'll notice a hook with a set of several keys.]

[unrecked]

[THIS POOR GUY. He points to himself for a second. WH... Well. He does not remember anything important here, and Jan did not give me any romantic backstory so:]

Uh, yeah, I guess I am...?

[Snatching this poor man's woman right out from under him. He should be killed.]

[battling]

[ Congratulations on you new girlfriend.

Bradley has stolen all of this guy's keys and also a fancy letter opener.

He won't miss it.

Back down to the second floor, can he hear the guards talking right outside it again? ]

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[JASON. This woman does not know about Jason's real backstory, so she's sliding up to him while the poor idiot guy stares, appalled.]

Wh—this guy definitely isn't a catch either! He seems like the heartbreaker type!

[As for Bradley, yes. The guards are by the door again so he may have trouble getting back inside.]

[unrecked]

[I THOUGHT THE STAIRS WENT DOWN TO THE FIRST FLOOR? WHAT KIND OF EMERGENCY EXIT IS THIS? HOW DO PEOPLE GET OUT?! I'm unfortunately not sure Jason realizes this. Godspeed, Bradley.]

Wow. I have a lot of respect for women, thanks.

[He's in this now, I guess. He offers the lady his elbow. How the shit will he get rid of her?!]

[battling]

[ Jason you dumb slut.

Bradley goes down to the first floor and checks the guards there. If they sound like they're there he'll just go outside and wait.

Do I have money to get back into the museum or what.

I don't think they have cell phones so like. Figure out where to meet him. ]

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[The first floor's emergency exit is... locked, for some reason. Dang, what kind of system is this. Bradley does not have a cellphone. People outside give him weird looks for coming down the emergency staircase. And he does not have money for the museum because, inconveniently, Jason was carrying all their money.

Meanwhile, the lady takes Jason's elbow while the poor idiot guy collapses to his knees, sobbing. The woman ignores him and looks at Jason admiringly.]

So, where to now?

[unrecked]

[Imagine the first floor emergency exit being LOCKED during an EMERGENCY. Jan, this museum is not up to code?! JAN?! He hates crime so much he is going to call the authorities on this dude for his building when he gets out and Bradley tells him. (no)]

Downstairs. Let's look around. The name's Red.

[He thinks Bradley is going to come out the first floor emergency exit, but will find that isn't the case when he gets down there. Also, poor Ben gets to see him walking along with a woman instead of Bradley and probably be mad about it.]