AUDIENCE FOR: Lup

[guestservices]

mostly void, partially stars.

❤

Comments

[evocationary]

Yoooou are not wrong.

[she says, after a moment. she reaches out to rest a hand on their arm. briefly.]

Walk with me. I have to get this tension out.

[guestservices]

[probably unsurprising, they're pretty tense. but they don't push her away either, letting her pull back whenever she wants.]

Okay. Where to?

[evocationary]

[she lets go, but only after a moment, frowning.]

I don't know. We can just walk until we get tired. [she doesn't have any place in mind, she just doesn't want to be in the lobby.]

... I don't really know how to feel about today.

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[there's a nod, and they begin to walk sort of aimlessly. lup can lead if she wants instead.]

Neither do I, really. Though "frustrated" comes to mind.

[evocationary]

Frustrated is a good word.

[she says absently.] I felt like I had some good leads, and then... it wasn't what I thought.

[... a huff.] I should stop doing that. Following my instincts tends to get me in trouble.

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...I don't know if it's so much following instincts so much as having to deal with outside influences that make it harder to hear what your instincts are really telling you.

[evocationary]

[she glances at them, shoving her hands in her pockets.]

Maybe. It gets real loud in there. [...] I don't know if it's good or bad, you know? Like what if it was someone who I wouldn't want to die.

[...] Dimitri got on me about that. I didn't really have an answer.

[guestservices]

...you didn't have an answer because you weren't really sure? Or because you didn't know how to say it in a way that would be well-received?

[evocationary]

[she does that sort of nervous laugh she does when she doesn't know how to answer.]

Um, well. Both. [...] I should be able to do the right thing, every week, but I can't, always.

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[...their own hands disappear into their pockets then.]

Doesn't that raise the question of what the right thing truly is?

[evocationary]

I guess that depends on who you ask.

One of the other Avatars used to insist the right thing was whatever made it so that you survived to the next day, but I don't, uh. I don't think that's true, but I couldn't give you a real answer, either.

[guestservices]

I believe this is where one would say it all depends on your conscience. If one still has theirs in place. The right thing, the easy thing, and the things we do are not always the same. That's where it becomes challenging.

[evocationary]

Ahhh, bud, I don't know what happened to my conscience.

[she laughs a little.]

I want to be a good person, but if Harrow killed someone? Molly, Cloud, even Jason. I'd cover for them. That wouldn't be the right thing to do, but I would.

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[there's a long moment of silence where they just walk and don't reply at all.]

...as I said. It depends on what the right thing really is in those cases. It would depend on why they killed, what caused them to act, a number of factors that could change everything.

[evocationary]

[she smiles, but it's pretty humorless.]

Yeah? But what about the truth? Isn't that what matters the most?

[guestservices]

It matters a great deal, yes, but the truth isn't always nice, Lup. You know that as well as I do.

[evocationary]

[she's silent for a moment, pulling her hand out of her pocket. she holds it in front of her, looking it over - there's cracks, red and glowing, all across her arm. her nails are painted blue. chipped, but blue.]

No. It isn't. [she says, flatly.] The truth was, if our contracts aren't lying to us - last week, Clementine was safe, no matter what happened to her, and Cloud wasn't. So I voted for her.

This week, the truth was that of all the people that were on the chopping block, I felt the least bad about Bucky. So. Without the right answer? I picked him.

[guestservices]

[they're also kind of looking at her arm quietly. the nails. the lava. everything.]

...Mister Barnes wasn't entirely making a good case for himself either. His disagreeable nature was doing him no favors. [. . .] Of course a person should strive to find the truth, but in the end if it's impossible, perhaps all that can be done is find a truth they can live with.

[evocationary]

The questions he was asking earlier are exactly the type of questions I hated when I was in your position, so uh. You're right. He isn't doing himself any favors.

[sigh.]

This isn't really a truth I want to live with. Think there's a way to fix it, eventually? Or are we screwed?

[guestservices]

Agitating. That's what it was. [sigh.]

...but I don't know. For now, all we can do is proceed with living with it and try to move ahead. I can't say for sure what will happen, but...you do still have your contract to fulfill. That's the most important thing.

[evocationary]

[she puts her hands in her pockets.]

Yeah, yeah. The contract. [she says this dismissively.] Whatever.

[guestservices]

No, not whatever. I want you to be able to fulfill the terms and succeed.

[evocationary]

Well, I would like that too, but I'm kind of at the whims of the hotel, aren't I?

[guestservices]

[silence.]

...what is it that you're most worried about now?

[evocationary]

[she tilts her head back.]

Dying, I guess. [...] I don't want to leave people behind again.