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guestservices) wrote2022-06-13 09:14 am
guestservices) wrote2022-06-13 09:14 am
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COURIER SERVICE.
COURIER SERVICE
Today, when when Souji is just going about his business, he will suddenly feel a hand close around his arm and will find himself yanked into a room at random. The door shuts behind him with a sharp SLAM!
When he looks around, he'll find himself in a nondescript room in the mansion. It's got a table and two chairs in the center of the room, with three wrapped packages sitting on the desk. Each one of them has a different tag on it, but what the tag says is hard to tell from the distance.
Standing in front of him is Virgo, who lets go of his arm and gestures at the chairs.
"Sit the fuck down! You're bored, aren't you? So I have something for you to do this week."
Virgo then takes a seat in the chair on the other side of the table and puts their feet up on it like the rude shit they are, accidentally nudging one of the packages. They seem to be chuckling to themselves.
"Just watching is no fun! So I decided I'm going to spice things up a little, hahahaha. Pick one of these things and then give me three names! Of the living fuckers, no one here. And none of the hotel staff either! I'll make sure it gets to one of the three people you pick. Probably. Hahahaha, aren't I so helpful? Way more helpful than those other fuckers over there! You can thank me now."
N̸A̵V̴I̶G̶A̶T̴I̴O̸N̷.̷
TALK TO VIRGO
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ANYWAY SOUJI'S TAKEN ALL OF THIS IN STRIDE BECAUSE OF COURSE HE HAS so he's just sitting here primly in a chair with his hands folded in his lap. Once Virgo's done explaining:]
Ah! You really are the best, Virgo-san! [STOP THAT.] I'll have to come up with something even better than what I was planning as a thank you. But for now... [After scanning the packages...
Well. He knows what a gun and a house are.]
--I don't suppose you'd happen to know what that is?
[Pointing to the peace sign emoji with absolutely 0 faith at all that it will be explained. God bless.]
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Of course I am! Was there ever any doubt? Tch, you better not have been doubting my greatness!
[i wish to perish. anyway, they glance at the peace sign.]
It's a picture.
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Of course not! There's still plenty of room to be impressed even when you anticipate something wonderful.
[Somehow he manages to make all of these things sound so sincere even if there is a little kernel of eternal amusement in his gremlin heart. Speaking of GREMLINRY though:]
Hm. Yes, that does seem to be the case. A symbol of some sort? Shall I just take my best guess?
[ARE YOU AFTER CHAOS, VIRGO, IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT.]
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[I WISH TO PERISH.]
Sure, you can just guess if you want. I don't fucking care what you do. I'm just doing this because it's less boring than sitting around and waiting.
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Well, I can't argue with that... [Even if "boring" is not necessarily the word he would use.] I suppose it's more like, if I were to ask for more specifics, I can't imagine you would give them so easily, right?
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Maybe I just like to keep you guessing! Tch, expecting answers just because you asked, hahaha...
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Oh, I didn't expect any answers, actually. I just thought I'd give asking a try anyway. So! Just pick one of these and then give three names, yes?
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Yeah! Exactly what I fuckin' said. Hahahaha, they're going to be so fucking surprised when this shows up...
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also i aki am truly sad that souji isn't enough of an agent of chaos to pick people based on who he'd find funniest to give random weird shit to. I SHOULDA BROUGHT A FLEA DAMB]
Oh dear, I wonder if their hair will turn white... [WHAT KIND OF SURPRISE IS HE EXPECTING.] Just to be certain, sending something along to one of them won't kill them or their hostage on receiving it, yes?
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Hahahaha, what if it did? I bet that'd be really entertaining! But who knows what's in the box? You don't! Do I? Hahahaha, I'm not fucking telling you.
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To be honest, I doubt anyone who would go through this much trouble for entertainment would be satisfied with something that simple. Though they do seem to enjoy slapstick comedy...?
[SWEET SIEG. But hey, dying isn't the worst! If he blows someone up he'll just... apologize... he guesses........ It's fine.]
You seem to like games a fair bit, too, don't you? Well. I'll be picking this one, in any case. [Pointing to the house.] Give me a moment for names, there are a lot of good options here. [TO BLOW UP??]
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Hahahahaha!
[that's not an answer, asshole.]
What makes someone a good option to you?
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Anyway Souji also just laughs a little, not mocking but like, he is just out here vibing with this weirdass dude who is not helpful in any way.]
A quick thinker! And someone with reflexes decent enough to combat their terrible luck. I'd say good luck would be something important to have, too, but I think that any "good luck" anyone has here is negated by the fact that we've been through this at least twice now, you know?
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[they laugh, though. because of course they do.]
Do you have someone in mind? Does anyone even fit that description? Does anyone here even think?
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[THEY'RE ALL BAD LUCK MAGNETS magneting to each other... He also considers this for a second.]
Well, they all surely think. [Whether it's smart thinks or not is another question.] The young miss with the dour attitude who was unfortunate enough to be linked with Si-san during his death seems like she'd do well, though! And sword spirits are always an interesting and resourceful bet.
[He did not witness them get stuck in the door.]
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Didn't they get stuck in the door?
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--Well! Let's hope whatever is in there isn't another door then, if it gets to one of them.
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Hahahahahaha, maybe it's a bunch of doors and they'll get stuck forever!
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Ahhh, I hope not. I'd like to be able to keep watching them!
[Watching over them like a little hellish guardian angel who can't actually do shit to help except potentially send them to door superhell.]
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[help]
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Somehow it feels like you're starting to paint a very alarming picture, Virgo-san...
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[The hilarity of who he's saying this to.]
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stares at him.]
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...I think this is the first time you've ever gone quiet like that, Virgo-san... It's a little concerning.
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[the unselected boxes vanish and virgo storms out with the house emoji box tucked under their arm.]
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Oh, dear.
[Now he's going to have to come up with something even nicer once he gets his creepy outdoor cemetery kitchen up and running goddamn.]
DECISION
one is a gun emoji.
one is a house emoji.
one is a peace sign emoji.
please choose one package and three living people no later than wednesday at 5pm PST!
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the other two boxes vanish into shadows, and virgo snatches up the box with the house emoji and leaves the room once they finish their conversation. no takebacks now...]
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