AUDIENCE FOR: Jason Todd

[guestservices]

Comments

week 2, monday

[guestservices]

[virgo appears out of shadows, holding the tide pod in their hand.

this is not food.




and yet.

they toss it under their veil and after a moment, jason will hear loud chewing noises.

hi.]

[unrecked]

[Jason looks like this for the record. "did you not want to type 94928 paragraphs every time to annoy everyone" yes :pensive:]

I expected this, and yet, I'm still surprised. I thought you might need it to wash your clothes. It taste good?

[BEGGING VIRGO TO BE INFERNAL ENOUGH TO NOT DIE FROM JASON'S ASSHOLERY]

[guestservices]

Do I look like someone who washes their own clothes?!

[that question is not the flex you think it is, virgo.]

...it's tangy.

[unrecked]

Virgo. Buddy. I'll be honest, you don't even look like a someone who wears clothes at all.

[He can't even have fun because Virgo just ate the damn pod like it was a Ritz cracker.]

It's detergent. It goes in the washing machine.

[guestservices]

[


they squawk]

USE YOUR EYES! I'M WEARING CLOTHES RIGHT NOW!

[unrecked]

[When he laughs, it sounds like a rolling sort of dragon bark.]

You sure? [He's just messing with them.] You're probably only wearing them because it's hotel policy, yeah?

[guestservices]

I WEAR CLOTHES ALL THE TIME!!!

[unrecked]

Okay then. What kind of clothes do you like to wear?

[guestservices]

GOOD ONES!

[unrecked]

"Good ones"? That's the shittiest answer I've ever heard. Sounds like you really don't wear any clothes.

[guestservices]

I DO TOO!

[unrecked]

Well, you haven't done anything to prove it, so I'm just going to keep assuming you're a nudist. It's cool. No judgement.

[He sounds very judgmental.]

If you don't like clothes, do you like deals?

[guestservices]

I'm not a fucking nudist!!!

[they sound like they're losing their mind.]

...depends on the type of deal.

[unrecked]

[Virgo is a nudist...]

What kind of deals do you like? Or are you just going to tell me "good ones" again?

[guestservices]

Ones that aren't just in your favor! If I'm going to make a deal, I want to fucking get something out of it!

[unrecked]

[Okay, he laughs.]

Oh yeah? What are you looking to get out of it exactly? Food? Fun? Clothes...?

[guestservices]

FUCK YOU! I DON'T NEED CLOTHES! I HAVE MY OWN!!

[unrecked]

Alright, chill. [HE CAN'T TELL ANYONE ELSE TO CHILL, look at him.] I haven't seen a single bit of clothes, but fine, you've got clothes. What else? Answer the question.

What are you looking to get out of a deal?

[guestservices]

I just want to be the one to come out on top!!

[unrecked]

[This is like the most on-brand thing, he feels.]

Okay. You want to be the big dog. Of what? The hotel? The other staff?

[guestservices]

Hahahahaahahahahahahaha!

[unrecked]

[...

He reaches up and pops them on the back of the head.]

You know what a swirly is? I'm two seconds away from giving you a swirly. Me and guys who spend their time just cackling don't ever get along.

[guestservices]

[his hand passes through the back of their head. spooky.]

WHAT THE FUCK IS A SWIRLY?!

[unrecked]

[Jason Todd is about to give Qi Rong a swirly.]

Quit yelling. It's when I shove your head in the toilet and flush it.

[guestservices]

[who the fuck is qi rong]

WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT!