AUDIENCE FOR: Sheila Hammond

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Comments

week 1, tuesday

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[when sheila rings the bell, shadows appear in front of her, from which emerges cetus. when they speak, there's an odd, almost muffled quality to their voice.]

Do you require assistance?

[toesies]

[She opens her mouth to reply, but now she's squinting and leaning slightly closer to them — like she's trying to somehow see past the veil.]

Are you okay? You sound a little— [she makes a vague hand gesture around her lower face] muffled?

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Don't worry about it. That's normal.

[toesies]

Every time I'm told not to worry about something, it only makes me worry more.

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It's just how I sound.

[toesies]

... Alright, I believe you. Just remember to practice self care.

So, before I bombard you with other questions— What do you like to be tipped?

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Hmm... I'm not picky. Anything with positive intent is fine with me.

[toesies]

So food, knick-knacks, funny Christmas sweaters...? Anything goes? If you have food allergies, now would be a really good time to say so before we're all scrambling around, trying to find an epipen.

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I prefer vegetables to meat, but otherwise, no allergies.

[toesies]

Oh, you eat your veggies. That's great. It's healthier and it reduces your carbon footprint. Go, Cetus!

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[a beat]

Thank you?

[toesies]

You're so welcome!

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I'm not sure if you're being sarcastic or not.

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Oh... Did that come off as sarcastic? I'm sorry, I didn't mean it that way.

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It's fine. I just understand that you prefer meat.

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I do. It's the only thing I can eat, actually. But my preferences don't have to be your preferences.

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That's quite gracious.

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You think so? You have to be a special kind of asshole to impose your preferences on someone else.

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There are probably people like that...

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Ohhh, yeah. Just pick up any history book.

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History is full of all sorts, that's true.