AUDIENCE FOR: Sheila Hammond

[guestservices]

Comments

[toesies]

Every time I'm told not to worry about something, it only makes me worry more.

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It's just how I sound.

[toesies]

... Alright, I believe you. Just remember to practice self care.

So, before I bombard you with other questions— What do you like to be tipped?

[guestservices]

Hmm... I'm not picky. Anything with positive intent is fine with me.

[toesies]

So food, knick-knacks, funny Christmas sweaters...? Anything goes? If you have food allergies, now would be a really good time to say so before we're all scrambling around, trying to find an epipen.

[guestservices]

I prefer vegetables to meat, but otherwise, no allergies.

[toesies]

Oh, you eat your veggies. That's great. It's healthier and it reduces your carbon footprint. Go, Cetus!

[guestservices]

[a beat]

Thank you?

[toesies]

You're so welcome!

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I'm not sure if you're being sarcastic or not.

[toesies]

Oh... Did that come off as sarcastic? I'm sorry, I didn't mean it that way.

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It's fine. I just understand that you prefer meat.

[toesies]

I do. It's the only thing I can eat, actually. But my preferences don't have to be your preferences.

[guestservices]

That's quite gracious.

[toesies]

You think so? You have to be a special kind of asshole to impose your preferences on someone else.

[guestservices]

There are probably people like that...

[toesies]

Ohhh, yeah. Just pick up any history book.

[guestservices]

History is full of all sorts, that's true.