[ they exhale, sort of a humorless laugh at her dramatic drape, and come to join her, leaning against the counter and propping their chin in their hand. there's that faint clicking noise, metal on wood. ]
Agreed.
[ they're a little softer like this. ] Exhausting from start to finish. I feel like I could sleep for a week.
It was a dumb move. I knew - I knew it was going to happen, and I put myself down instead, because I was scared, and - moved his name. I moved his name. It was going to be there, I told - I told Harrow and everything, and.
[a pause as her jaw works.]
It doesn't matter. I was so insanely lucky that first time.
... even if you moved his name, there was no guarantee you'd get him, anyway.
[ it's the logical path, but they don't push it or try to stress it more than that - just agreeing. lucky. so, so lucky. sometimes, no matter how much you try to control it, it has to come down to that, doesn't it?
they're quiet for a moment, like they're deciding what to say. ] ...It does matter, though. I think you're allowed to be pissed about it. Sad about it. It's more fucked up that you can't really be mad about it in front of other people.
for the first time, and only for a second, aquila sounds like someone else.]
...I think so, too.
[
they push off of the counter. if they want to say anything else about it, they don't, but they glance back at her, and they hold out their gloved hand. ] ... Will you come do something with me?
[ they take it! they're still wearing gloves, and their hand is cold, though their fingers are maybe a little longer than you might expect.
but with that, they'll pull her off and walk with her like that, towards the restaurant, back towards the kitchen. they don't look at her really, gaze forward, and they talk in that easy, gravelly slang again, candid. ] 'm a really shitty cook. Didn't really grow up in a life where I got to do a lot of it. Just kinda... ate to survive. Still barely eat to survive. But ...
... I heard cooking means something, for people. Someone I know talks with food, sometimes, I think. It was always really - meant a lot, too me. Got a lot across. That, and.... it helps you deal with shit, and, take all that and make something good out of it. Probably in a healthier way than anything else.
So... if you're up for it, thought maybe we can go. Iunno. Beat up some dough, or something, or, whatever it is fancy people do with cooking. [ they
she listens, following them along, just letting them lead. she's really, honestly, too tired to do anything but. the adrenaline, the fear, the everything from today has her feeling like she's wrung out. she keeps thinking about the bones on the tile, the panic that burst like fireworks up in her throat, the way harrow insisted she had gone back on what she planned to do. next week, next week.
i won't let you die, lup had said, and she meant it.
she zones out a little, but she comes back in towards the end. take all that and make something good out of it. she's trying. she's trying really, really hard.]
... Okay. Sure.
[they can do that. she doesn't know where to start, though.]
[ there's like a salad fingers joke here maybe probably who knows
anyway they glance back at her, for a moment, when they finish talking, and then shake their head, finally letting go when they come to the kitchen. the shadow workers clear out at the sight of lup and aquila both.
...
aquila also really, really, doesn't know what to do. (and that's in so many more ways than one, isn't it?)
they glance back at her again, from where they're picking through ingredients. open their mouth to say something. open it, close it. open it again. ]
...What do you really like to eat, Lup? You're always cooking for everyone else.
[she just leans against the counter, for now, trying to pull herself together. adrenaline is a hell of a thing.]
... Um. [and that's a question that gets her, actually? what does she like to eat? she hasn't thought about that for a while. a pause, as she genuinely flounders for an answer for a bit, and then:]
I guess... there's this sandwich I like. It's really simple, but just uh, it... it was an open-faced sandwich, and it was super spicy. Had, uh, had nutmeg, or something like it, grated over it.
[she says this absently, like she's remembering it.]
[ they glance back again, and then roll their shoulders back. ] Nutmeg. Okay.
[ they nod, thinking. and go to the spices. they poke through the jars, pulling out a couple at a time to examine them - pulling out the nutmeg, sniffing it, and then like pulling their head back like the strength of the smell startled them before setting it down.
... and then, frowning for a moment at the ingredients in the rest of the kitchen.
what the hell is a sandwich. they can. put two and two though, and look through the bread? it needs bread. ] Simple's not bad, don't think. 's gonna be a weird question, but what kind of spicy?
[ as this is happening, at some point, they wave their hand, and a little bubble of shadows pops up next to lup; it changes into a cup of tea. ]
[she catches them startle a little, and stifles a laugh. just a little snort into her shoulder.
(redacted) you stupid twunk how do you not know what a sandwich is. it's fine, she is distracted by the little shadow bubble, and when the tea appears, she actually laughs for real. she can practically hear molly scolding her. high as a kite, darling.
she holds the tea in both hands, bringing it up to her face and trapping the heat.]
I don't know, like... hot. Peppers. Chipotle, I think? You - are not going to know what that is.
[ listen. they heard that snort! or maybe they didn’t. they definitely act like they didn’t.
anyway!! sometimes (redacted). they continue digging through the spices while she’s talking, glancing back. she’ll find the tea to be warm and well flavored, something a little floral. and maybe she won’t notice that aquilas shoulders relax a little, when she laughs.
though, they snort ] I can figure it out! And I can read labels. [ a little playfully there. ] Describe it to me.
[she barely even drinks the tea - there's something comforting about having it. there's a little bit of heat behind her eyes, and she disguises it in the steam, before closing her eyes.]
Oh, wow, you can read. I'm impressed. [she teases, voice a touch shaky.] I don't, uh - it's a type of pepper. Lime juice, garlic, all that. I think it was a roast beef one.
[ they hate that shaky, actually. as they're pulling out these various ingredients - lime juice, garlic - they stay quiet for a little while longer, and then: ]
... Think that's what I'm really learning about this. [ as they look at their little jumbled collection of ingredients. kind of laughable. they could cheat, but they're trying. ] It's really more about the people you get to eat with than the food itself. A good meal is memories.
[ she's not very sneaky, but that's okay. they don't seem notice, or maybe they're good at pretending. ]
...Family must be good for things like that. [ they're pulling down other ingredients, but, arguably none of these will actually be good to create a sandwich. it's fine. ] What's the story? Did you just stop somewhere random to eat and find paradise?
... Yeah. We uh, we were on our thirtieth cycle. Tesseralia. The food there was really good, like, life-changing. Everybody - like, there was no war or fighting or anything, so everybody just really dedicated themselves to the arts, and...
I don't know, me and Taako just sat and ate this sandwich and it was like a dang religious experience.
[ they look at the remnants of the sandwich they were failing at making.... and shake their head, setting those ingredients aside.
they try for something else. simpler, maybe, something familiar - they pull out an apple and a cutting board, then summon a knife from their sleeve hammer space. their back stays to lup as they do this, but she can hear the rhythmic sound of a knife on a cutting board, after a moment or two. their tone stays calm and soft. ]
You and your brother cooked together a lot, right? Did you guys ever - iunno, fuck something up spectacularly? Comically, maybe, 's a better word.
she sips her tea, not really paying attention to what they're doing. her brain is melting out her ears.]
Oh, sure, all the time. We had to learn somehow. Uh - one time we forgot a pie in the oven at our aunt's, and it exploded. Literally. I'm still not sure how that happened.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
guestservices) wrote2022-06-09 12:18 pm
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Agreed.
[ they're a little softer like this. ] Exhausting from start to finish. I feel like I could sleep for a week.
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I wish I could've saved him.
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...yeah. [ some of the roughness shifts out of their voice. ] I know you do.
...It's not your fault, you know.
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[a pause as her jaw works.]
It doesn't matter. I was so insanely lucky that first time.
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[ it's the logical path, but they don't push it or try to stress it more than that - just agreeing. lucky. so, so lucky. sometimes, no matter how much you try to control it, it has to come down to that, doesn't it?
they're quiet for a moment, like they're deciding what to say. ] ...It does matter, though. I think you're allowed to be pissed about it. Sad about it. It's more fucked up that you can't really be mad about it in front of other people.
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I think it's the best and worst possible thing that could've been assigned to me.
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for the first time, and only for a second, aquila sounds like someone else.]
...I think so, too.
[
they push off of the counter. if they want to say anything else about it, they don't, but they glance back at her, and they hold out their gloved hand. ] ... Will you come do something with me?
no subject
she takes their hand, after a moment.]
... Sure, okay.
no subject
but with that, they'll pull her off and walk with her like that, towards the restaurant, back towards the kitchen. they don't look at her really, gaze forward, and they talk in that easy, gravelly slang again, candid. ] 'm a really shitty cook. Didn't really grow up in a life where I got to do a lot of it. Just kinda... ate to survive. Still barely eat to survive. But ...
... I heard cooking means something, for people. Someone I know talks with food, sometimes, I think. It was always really - meant a lot, too me. Got a lot across. That, and.... it helps you deal with shit, and, take all that and make something good out of it. Probably in a healthier way than anything else.
So... if you're up for it, thought maybe we can go. Iunno. Beat up some dough, or something, or, whatever it is fancy people do with cooking. [ they
really do not know much about cooking. ]
no subject
she listens, following them along, just letting them lead. she's really, honestly, too tired to do anything but. the adrenaline, the fear, the everything from today has her feeling like she's wrung out. she keeps thinking about the bones on the tile, the panic that burst like fireworks up in her throat, the way harrow insisted she had gone back on what she planned to do. next week, next week.
i won't let you die, lup had said, and she meant it.
she zones out a little, but she comes back in towards the end. take all that and make something good out of it. she's trying. she's trying really, really hard.]
... Okay. Sure.
[they can do that. she doesn't know where to start, though.]
no subject
anyway they glance back at her, for a moment, when they finish talking, and then shake their head, finally letting go when they come to the kitchen. the shadow workers clear out at the sight of lup and aquila both.
...
aquila also really, really, doesn't know what to do. (and that's in so many more ways than one, isn't it?)
they glance back at her again, from where they're picking through ingredients. open their mouth to say something. open it, close it. open it again. ]
...What do you really like to eat, Lup? You're always cooking for everyone else.
no subject
... Um. [and that's a question that gets her, actually? what does she like to eat? she hasn't thought about that for a while. a pause, as she genuinely flounders for an answer for a bit, and then:]
I guess... there's this sandwich I like. It's really simple, but just uh, it... it was an open-faced sandwich, and it was super spicy. Had, uh, had nutmeg, or something like it, grated over it.
[she says this absently, like she's remembering it.]
no subject
[ they nod, thinking. and go to the spices. they poke through the jars, pulling out a couple at a time to examine them - pulling out the nutmeg, sniffing it, and then like pulling their head back like the strength of the smell startled them before setting it down.
... and then, frowning for a moment at the ingredients in the rest of the kitchen.
what the hell is a sandwich. they can. put two and two though, and look through the bread? it needs bread. ] Simple's not bad, don't think. 's gonna be a weird question, but what kind of spicy?
[ as this is happening, at some point, they wave their hand, and a little bubble of shadows pops up next to lup; it changes into a cup of tea. ]
no subject
(redacted) you stupid twunk how do you not know what a sandwich is. it's fine, she is distracted by the little shadow bubble, and when the tea appears, she actually laughs for real. she can practically hear molly scolding her. high as a kite, darling.
she holds the tea in both hands, bringing it up to her face and trapping the heat.]
I don't know, like... hot. Peppers. Chipotle, I think? You - are not going to know what that is.
no subject
anyway!! sometimes (redacted). they continue digging through the spices while she’s talking, glancing back. she’ll find the tea to be warm and well flavored, something a little floral. and maybe she won’t notice that aquilas shoulders relax a little, when she laughs.
though, they snort ] I can figure it out! And I can read labels. [ a little playfully there. ] Describe it to me.
no subject
Oh, wow, you can read. I'm impressed. [she teases, voice a touch shaky.] I don't, uh - it's a type of pepper. Lime juice, garlic, all that. I think it was a roast beef one.
[a longer pause.]
My brother and I had it. Long time ago.
no subject
... Think that's what I'm really learning about this. [ as they look at their little jumbled collection of ingredients. kind of laughable. they could cheat, but they're trying. ] It's really more about the people you get to eat with than the food itself. A good meal is memories.
no subject
Yeah. [she says, soft.] I don't know if I have a favorite food, really. But uh, this sandwich. It was an experience. And Taako and I shared it.
no subject
...Family must be good for things like that. [ they're pulling down other ingredients, but, arguably none of these will actually be good to create a sandwich. it's fine. ] What's the story? Did you just stop somewhere random to eat and find paradise?
no subject
... Yeah. We uh, we were on our thirtieth cycle. Tesseralia. The food there was really good, like, life-changing. Everybody - like, there was no war or fighting or anything, so everybody just really dedicated themselves to the arts, and...
I don't know, me and Taako just sat and ate this sandwich and it was like a dang religious experience.
no subject
anyway they laugh softly at the memory. ] Crazy, the kinds of things that a world at peace would be able to do. Did you ever try to recreate it?
[ a beat. ] The food, I mean.
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[she closes her eyes.]
We never got anything from that place right. There was just something about the community there that made it possible.
no subject
[ they look at the remnants of the sandwich they were failing at making.... and shake their head, setting those ingredients aside.
they try for something else. simpler, maybe, something familiar - they pull out an apple and a cutting board, then summon a knife from their sleeve hammer space. their back stays to lup as they do this, but she can hear the rhythmic sound of a knife on a cutting board, after a moment or two. their tone stays calm and soft. ]
You and your brother cooked together a lot, right? Did you guys ever - iunno, fuck something up spectacularly? Comically, maybe, 's a better word.
no subject
she sips her tea, not really paying attention to what they're doing. her brain is melting out her ears.]
Oh, sure, all the time. We had to learn somehow. Uh - one time we forgot a pie in the oven at our aunt's, and it exploded. Literally. I'm still not sure how that happened.
no subject
they make a noise, at first, and then laugh, soft. ] Did it destroy your oven? At least it might have been a delicious explosion.
[ tap, tap, tap. at least they can do this part! a little teasing: ] Was that both of your faults? Or... ?
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