guestservices | AUDIENCE FOR: Jason Todd

[Well, Lepus has plenty of time to notice and react.

Jason has one of the forearms, but he shifts his other one to dip quickly into the pocket of his jacket. Maybe Lepus knows what is coming.

He pulls out the stun gun because he absolutely is going to try to zap Lepus in the chest. This

is a repeat of what Lepus saw, so hate that.]

[WELL I ROLLED A 4 SO LEPUS IS GETTING FUCKING STUNNED IG which probably means they're temporarily slumping in jason's grip]

Edited 2022-07-07 15:25 (UTC)

[YOUR ROLLS ARE AS BAD AS MINE!!!

Jason will catch them with an arm and also put away the stun gun. He has a nice goose egg on his cheek now, though.]

Come on, I warned you. I don’t want to fight you, I owe you too much.

[He will actually pick them up so he can take them back to the employee lounge, though? They might poof if they come to before then but hopefully they don’t try to fight.]

[well lepus has to take like. a few minutes to recover as they try to get their limbs back in working order. so jason can manhandle away.]

Shit. Asshole.

[they are also in pain and apparently that's making more of their foul mouth come through. weakly—]

What the hell do you even owe me, anyway...?

[Shhh, shhhh. It's okay, Lepus. Chill, bro.]

Don't fight it. Your muscles are tensed up. They'll relax again in a few minutes. [He's still going to take them to the employee lounge.] Don't know if the other me had a chance to thank you or not. [He doesn't call them out on being worried or concerned about that Jason, but it's implied.]

So there's that for one. For seconds, job or not, you helped me get a room service.

... You're an idiot, and I'm going to kill you.

[this is a very ineffective threat when they're still kind of limp in jason's grip. BUT THEY KNOW WHAT YOU'RE IMPLYING SIR AND THEY DON'T LIKE IT!! can't believe jason is one of the only people in the game who doesn't think lepus is a possible psychopath.]

Edited 2022-07-07 19:09 (UTC)

[This is very ineffective, but Jason understands the sentiment is probably real in that very exasperated way which is valid and fair.

ALSO STOP. If Lepus is a psychopath, Jason is a psychopath. They are both toeing the line here, and he understands that.]

You know, I get that a lot.

[ :/ ]

Maybe you should consider it as friendly advice.

Not sure if you can cure someone of idiocy. I've tried a few times. Not on myself, mind you.

[love him, lepus......]

[no.]

You know what? I change my mind. Maybe we should bang your head against something a few times. Might help.

This is the sweetest thing you've ever said to me, Lepus.

[Unfortunately for them, they cannot move just yet, so Jason just absolutely brings them up in his arms and starts very exaggeratedly nuzzling them like you do to a cat when you think it's very cute even if it's two seconds away from buzz-sawing you.

It's not even affection week.]

I'm soooooo touched! You really care...! We're friends!

[THEY SPLUTTER

and then they're forcing their limbs to move as they (poorly) try to kick jason in the crotch like this]

Whoa--whoa, whoa, eas-- Hey!

[He tries to make sure he isn't dropping them on the floor, but also doing his best to keep the kick from being so bad. PLEASE. He deserves to be nut checked.]

Not the dick, dude! That's below the belt! I need that.

[in a mixture of tired, scathing, dry, and AGGGGGGH I HATE MY LIFE RIGHT NOW,]

Do you now?

[but at least they're not trying for round two because their LIMBS.]

I gotta piss sometime.

[He will not comment on what ELSE he needs it for because he doesn't want the bullying to be returned to him. He tries to wrangle Lepus back up enough to keep hauling them.]

You know what, I'm leaving you in the lobby. Which bell am I ringing for someone to come get your feisty ass?

[they're struggling a little because it's the principle of the matter.]

No one's. I can manage.

Orion's it is then.

[Since he knows Orion is pretty strong, but also not as bad off about teasing as some of the others. Is he sparing Lepus? Who knows.]

No hard feelings, right? You gave me a good biff, and I gave you a little of what I gave Royce. We're even?

I can just open up a shadow portal, idiot.

[call orion and they will try to kick you in the balls again :/ ]

Yeah, yeah. Murder attempts are just a normal part of daily interaction, etc.

[it's said dryly but tbh not entirely sarcastically]

[Yeah, well, he is going to put them down somewhere behind the desk so he is far away when he ding-dong-ditches it. That's what he's doing.]

Murder attempts are how you make friends. How do you think I ended up making a deal to take Royce's place, huh?

[Hehe.

Putting Lepus down behind the counter.......he really is going to ding-dong-ditch.]

[unfortunately most of lepus's canon friends are also people who've threatened to murder them or caused them significant bodily harm]

—If you have to call someone, ring Vulpecula.

[He gives Lepus an apologetic pap on the face through the veil.]

Sorry for zapping you like Thor. It'll wear off, but you'll be a little sore. I did warn you. Take it from someone who is always rowdy: let's be a little less rowdy, okay?

[POT. KETTLE.

Imagine he rings Orion anyway. On his way around, though, he does hit Vulpecula's bell. GOODBYE.]

[lepus is focusing to shadow portal away but they figure vulpecula will come and bother them later for this :/

goodbye forever jason]

[vulpecula comes out of lepus's shadow portal at that exact same moment. no goodbye forever, you're not going anywhere.

they look at jason. they look at lepus and grab for the back collar of their uniform.]

What did you do? [and then, to jason - ] I am so sorry for... whatever happened here.

[OH N

He stops exactly like the cartoon people do when they are sneaking exaggeratedly and get caught red-handed. He holds both hands up like he's under arrest, help. IGNORE THE SHINER ON HIS FACE UNDER ONE EYE. Which is hilarious.]

S'fine. We were... just getting to know each other.

Yup. Just some friendly bonding. You shouldn't have come—Jason was stingy and didn't even put in a tip for you? Anyway, let go or I'm taking you with me.

[as they'll open up another shadow portal, so vulpecula can come with them or separate.]

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