Don't fight it. Your muscles are tensed up. They'll relax again in a few minutes. [He's still going to take them to the employee lounge.] Don't know if the other me had a chance to thank you or not. [He doesn't call them out on being worried or concerned about that Jason, but it's implied.]
So there's that for one. For seconds, job or not, you helped me get a room service.
[this is a very ineffective threat when they're still kind of limp in jason's grip. BUT THEY KNOW WHAT YOU'RE IMPLYING SIR AND THEY DON'T LIKE IT!! can't believe jason is one of the only people in the game who doesn't think lepus is a possible psychopath.]
This is the sweetest thing you've ever said to me, Lepus.
[Unfortunately for them, they cannot move just yet, so Jason just absolutely brings them up in his arms and starts very exaggeratedly nuzzling them like you do to a cat when you think it's very cute even if it's two seconds away from buzz-sawing you.
It's not even affection week.]
I'm soooooo touched! You really care...! We're friends!
[He tries to make sure he isn't dropping them on the floor, but also doing his best to keep the kick from being so bad. PLEASE. He deserves to be nut checked.]
Not the dick, dude! That's below the belt! I need that.
[He will not comment on what ELSE he needs it for because he doesn't want the bullying to be returned to him. He tries to wrangle Lepus back up enough to keep hauling them.]
You know what, I'm leaving you in the lobby. Which bell am I ringing for someone to come get your feisty ass?
[He gives Lepus an apologetic pap on the face through the veil.]
Sorry for zapping you like Thor. It'll wear off, but you'll be a little sore. I did warn you. Take it from someone who is always rowdy: let's be a little less rowdy, okay?
[POT. KETTLE.
Imagine he rings Orion anyway. On his way around, though, he does hit Vulpecula's bell. GOODBYE.]
He stops exactly like the cartoon people do when they are sneaking exaggeratedly and get caught red-handed. He holds both hands up like he's under arrest, help. IGNORE THE SHINER ON HIS FACE UNDER ONE EYE. Which is hilarious.]
S'fine. We were... just getting to know each other.
Yup. Just some friendly bonding. You shouldn't have come—Jason was stingy and didn't even put in a tip for you? Anyway, let go or I'm taking you with me.
[as they'll open up another shadow portal, so vulpecula can come with them or separate.]
[He reaches up to touch under his eye, blinking, and then winces. Oh yeah. He tries really hard not to snort as Lepus gets dragged away. "They're going through a portal." Dragged away.
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Shit. Asshole.
[they are also in pain and apparently that's making more of their foul mouth come through. weakly—]
What the hell do you even owe me, anyway...?
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Don't fight it. Your muscles are tensed up. They'll relax again in a few minutes. [He's still going to take them to the employee lounge.] Don't know if the other me had a chance to thank you or not. [He doesn't call them out on being worried or concerned about that Jason, but it's implied.]
So there's that for one. For seconds, job or not, you helped me get a room service.
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[this is a very ineffective threat when they're still kind of limp in jason's grip. BUT THEY KNOW WHAT YOU'RE IMPLYING SIR AND THEY DON'T LIKE IT!! can't believe jason is one of the only people in the game who doesn't think lepus is a possible psychopath.]
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ALSO STOP. If Lepus is a psychopath, Jason is a psychopath. They are both toeing the line here, and he understands that.]
You know, I get that a lot.
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Maybe you should consider it as friendly advice.
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[love him, lepus......]
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You know what? I change my mind. Maybe we should bang your head against something a few times. Might help.
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[Unfortunately for them, they cannot move just yet, so Jason just absolutely brings them up in his arms and starts very exaggeratedly nuzzling them like you do to a cat when you think it's very cute even if it's two seconds away from buzz-sawing you.
It's not even affection week.]
I'm soooooo touched! You really care...! We're friends!
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and then they're forcing their limbs to move as they (poorly) try to kick jason in the crotch like this]
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[He tries to make sure he isn't dropping them on the floor, but also doing his best to keep the kick from being so bad. PLEASE. He deserves to be nut checked.]
Not the dick, dude! That's below the belt! I need that.
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Do you now?
[but at least they're not trying for round two because their LIMBS.]
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[He will not comment on what ELSE he needs it for because he doesn't want the bullying to be returned to him. He tries to wrangle Lepus back up enough to keep hauling them.]
You know what, I'm leaving you in the lobby. Which bell am I ringing for someone to come get your feisty ass?
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No one's. I can manage.
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[Since he knows Orion is pretty strong, but also not as bad off about teasing as some of the others. Is he sparing Lepus? Who knows.]
No hard feelings, right? You gave me a good biff, and I gave you a little of what I gave Royce. We're even?
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[call orion and they will try to kick you in the balls again :/ ]
Yeah, yeah. Murder attempts are just a normal part of daily interaction, etc.
[it's said dryly but tbh not entirely sarcastically]
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Murder attempts are how you make friends. How do you think I ended up making a deal to take Royce's place, huh?
[Hehe.
Putting Lepus down behind the counter.......he really is going to ding-dong-ditch.]
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—If you have to call someone, ring Vulpecula.
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Sorry for zapping you like Thor. It'll wear off, but you'll be a little sore. I did warn you. Take it from someone who is always rowdy: let's be a little less rowdy, okay?
[POT. KETTLE.
Imagine he rings Orion anyway. On his way around, though, he does hit Vulpecula's bell. GOODBYE.]
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goodbye forever jason]
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they look at jason. they look at lepus and grab for the back collar of their uniform.]
What did you do? [and then, to jason - ] I am so sorry for... whatever happened here.
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He stops exactly like the cartoon people do when they are sneaking exaggeratedly and get caught red-handed. He holds both hands up like he's under arrest, help. IGNORE THE SHINER ON HIS FACE UNDER ONE EYE. Which is hilarious.]
S'fine. We were... just getting to know each other.
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[as they'll open up another shadow portal, so vulpecula can come with them or separate.]
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[just. sighs. and points at jason's eye.]
Put ice on that or something!
[but they don't let go of lepus so yeah they're going together. jason will hear vulpecula nagging them as they go - ]
Friendly bonding, my foot - and you have the nerve to get on me about doing reckless things?
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But he snorts anyway.
And waves.]