AUDIENCE FOR: Sheila Hammond

[guestservices]

Comments

week 0, saturday

[guestservices]

[not long after the bell is rung, vulpecula appears behind sheila, calmly sipping at the can of starlight j*ngle juice.]

Thanks! I think we could all use some refreshments after... um, that. Did you get something to drink for yourself, too?

[toesies]

Whoa. [Startling a little when they just? Appear? But not really.] You're so welcome! I'm probably going to grab something later, just not something that will probably make me ruin your nice marble flooring.

[guestservices]

It's okay if you do! That's what housekeeping is for. [a beat.] Wait, that's not a responsible thing to say.

[toesies]

[She raises her eyebrows.]

Nope, especially if you won't be the one in charge of cleaning up my throw up. [VULPE??] ... Which, by the way, speaking of throwing up— One of your co-workers made it sound like you could help with my, uh, dietary restrictions?

[guestservices]

I do logistics, so I'd be involved in assigning someone to do it, but... yeah...

[a beat.]

Which one? What did they say, exactly?

[toesies]

Aquafina? [...] Wait. No. That's wrong. Aquila. And they didn't really say much because I wasn't going to ask much in public. Just that you wouldn't let me starve, and that I could ask about it in private if I was worried.

[guestservices]

Ohhh, right.

So, there's no easy way to say this. So, I'm just gonna say it? If you're hungry, we can get you something to eat, but it's not going to be very fresh. [they seem to wince, but it's hard to tell with the veil.] There'll be another option which'll be pretty obvious what it is later, but it's going to require some work on your part.

[toesies]

Ugh...

[She was so spoiled by Sebastian... This should count as a despair indulgence. "Wrong game." Despair indulgence.]

I guess we'll see if not fresh translates to edible, but I still need to eat. Is the other option murder? Because I can already think of one guy I would not mind shoving in a tiny ice box.

[guestservices]

I can get you something small if you want to try it out...? Otherwise I can... see if we can find more of that jerky for you...

[they fidget a little.]

That's an option, but it's not the only option. I think you'll recognize it when you see it.

[perhaps on a sunday rather than the tuesday this audience is set on.]

[toesies]

I'm willing to try it. Though, speaking of— who did that jerky come from? Everyone else's was made out of beef, except mine.

[truly hope the third option is just graverobbing, help.]

[guestservices]

[in an extremely tired sounding voice:]

Virgo made it.

[toesies]

Aw... Thank you, Virgo! Remind me to get them something nice later.

[despite the tiny dick energy that she will soon discover]

[guestservices]

You're going to give them a swelled head...

[toesies]

If they let it go to their head, that's a them problem.

You two don't get along, though?

[guestservices]

I don't think I really have the patience to deal with them when they're at their most... Virgo-like.

[toesies]

Ooh, incompatible signs?

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...yeah!

[toesies]

[she nods like vulpecula didn't agree to that on the spot.]

Who would you say you have the most in common with, then?

[guestservices]

Oh, that's a tough one...

[they hum, thinking about it.]

[toesies]

Tough because you have too much in common? Or not nearly enough...?

[guestservices]

A little of both? I know that sounds strange... We're all really different people, but... we all ended up working here, too!

[toesies]

It's not that strange. If you think about it, that's just how workplaces— uh, work.

[guestservices]

Yep! Certain types of people are going to be attracted to certain types of jobs.

[toesies]

And diversity makes the workplace better!

Usually.

[guestservices]

But sometimes it doesn't?