[ is what they say, at first, followed by: ] And for Ragnvindr, and for Yoo Joonghyuk, and Hua Cheng, and all those other people that care about you. Don't start with that.
Just sometimes don't believe there are people who believe I'm worth fighting for like that. Going with my lies...
[ he just. takes the bottle close to his chest and sinks into the seating just a bit more, staring upwards. ]
The ending... it happened so quickly the next thing I knew I heard the verdict. [ his fingers curl tightly around the neck of the bottle. another pull. he's used to dandelion wine, so he can take most anything at this point regardless of strength. when he lowers it, he laughs. ] Hah. This is terrible. The situation. Not the bottle.
... there's something about what he says there that makes aquila soften. they kick their foot very gently against kaeya's under the table. ]
There are plenty of people who believe you're worth fighting for. You did the same exact thing for Ragnvindr, didn't you? [ ... ] They'll choose you. You have to know that - and if you don't, it's a lesson you're going to learn.
this isn't how he wanted to drink baizhu but it is now, i guess. he kicked aquila's leg back beneath it tiredly, his brows drawn together as he lets the alcohol sit in his system. ]
I feel terrible. My body feels terrible.
[ white-knuckled, he holds onto the locket around his throat. ] ]
Aquila... when you woke me up that morning, what was going through your head?
I told you before. I think you and I are too similar sometimes, captain.
[ there's a soft, amused huff. they watch him with the bottle for a moment longer, for the moment not drinking their own. and when he brings up the memory again...
... aquila's quiet, for a long moment, and they lean back in their own seat. ]
... I chose to lay my fate in the hands of two other people, after I made that decision. Not something I do very often. [ ... ] And it likely wouldn't have ended nearly as well is it did, if I hadn't.
I did what needed to be done, got what I needed, and kept moving.
he sighs, shifting a little. aquila, maybe, is not the best at comforting people, so he falls naturally into the logical route. ]
Even if people are suspicious of you, that doesn't necessarily mean they're going to lash out and attack you. [ not quite scolding, but. ] No one attacked Ragnvindr, did they?
Alberich, you have to lean on your better people. Make plans if you have to, but from me to you, that is what's going to get you through this. You aren't a traitor.
[ a long pause happens here, kaeya looks like he's searching for the words. ]
Perhaps you're right, I'm not a traitor, I was just a puppet. All week. It's fine. Regardless... I do my best to lean on my better people. We make plans. We're... used to compulsion, and what comes with it.
[ he straightens the way he usually does to gather himself, a faint smile on his lips. would he have fathered it have been all of his own volition? after what he saw? ]
The locket was damning and I was lucky it was Estelle who was checking. Emet-Selch was only concerned with keys. And you can't even prove the abilities on them without another ability itself of course. Unless there's a job added onto someone contract for that as well.
[ they stiffen up at first, just like they did the last time, but it doesn't last. instead, they reach around him and put their hand on his head, arm sort of casually resting on his shoulders and fingers threading loosely into his hair. ]
You're not as good of a liar as you think you are. [ a little huff. ] Maybe I'm just good at recognizing it.
[ they click their tongue, and keep that hand in his hair, then. ]
Don't burn it. No one here has a long enough attention span to remember a piece of fluff from a drain for longer than a week. They'll be plenty occupied with whoever decides to murder next week.
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[ he drinks. it's a few seconds before he answers. ]
Just so some invisible monster to clap at while I burned a boy afraid of fire alive? Because last week wasn't enough?
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[ is what they say, at first, followed by: ] And for Ragnvindr, and for Yoo Joonghyuk, and Hua Cheng, and all those other people that care about you. Don't start with that.
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[ shuts eye as he hears those names, brow drawn taut a moment before he takes a breath. ]
They wanted someone to step forward, but I couldn't. There was no way, in that moment, I could have.
[ he drinks again, then sets the bottle down quietly. ]
Now I must work harder than ever.
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To confess, you mean? [ they figure that's the case, so - ] Yeah. You couldn't have. 's what I've heard. Even if you wanted to. Makes sense.
[ ... ]
...'s one way to look at it, I guess. Working harder. Finding your convictions again?
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Just sometimes don't believe there are people who believe I'm worth fighting for like that. Going with my lies...
[ he just. takes the bottle close to his chest and sinks into the seating just a bit more, staring upwards. ]
The ending... it happened so quickly the next thing I knew I heard the verdict. [ his fingers curl tightly around the neck of the bottle. another pull. he's used to dandelion wine, so he can take most anything at this point regardless of strength. when he lowers it, he laughs. ] Hah. This is terrible. The situation. Not the bottle.
[ i dont even know what it is. ]
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... there's something about what he says there that makes aquila soften. they kick their foot very gently against kaeya's under the table. ]
There are plenty of people who believe you're worth fighting for. You did the same exact thing for Ragnvindr, didn't you? [ ... ] They'll choose you. You have to know that - and if you don't, it's a lesson you're going to learn.
You're not as terrible as you think you are.
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this isn't how he wanted to drink baizhu but it is now, i guess. he kicked aquila's leg back beneath it tiredly, his brows drawn together as he lets the alcohol sit in his system. ]
I feel terrible. My body feels terrible.
[ white-knuckled, he holds onto the locket around his throat. ] ]
Aquila... when you woke me up that morning, what was going through your head?
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That I knew you wouldn't end up checking places you'd been.
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Smart bird.
[ he breathes out. ]
I must keep stepping forward. I wasn't spared just to waste time...
[ he looks to aquila now ]
The memory I saw... from you... how did it end for you?
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[ there's a soft, amused huff. they watch him with the bottle for a moment longer, for the moment not drinking their own. and when he brings up the memory again...
... aquila's quiet, for a long moment, and they lean back in their own seat. ]
... I chose to lay my fate in the hands of two other people, after I made that decision. Not something I do very often. [ ... ] And it likely wouldn't have ended nearly as well is it did, if I hadn't.
I did what needed to be done, got what I needed, and kept moving.
no subject
[ he bites the inside of his lip. ]
Mikazuki knows, I'm certain. Others aren't stupid, either.
[ he sighs and lets go of the bottle, it stands alone on the table as he brings his hands together, one slowly trailing over the skin of his palm. ]
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And so? What happens next, then?
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Not sure how I'll do it, but... surely I can figure it out.
[ he laughs and it sounds... overwhelmed. ]
Ah, always the traitor, never the bride.
[ that's not how the saying goes ]
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he sighs, shifting a little. aquila, maybe, is not the best at comforting people, so he falls naturally into the logical route. ]
Even if people are suspicious of you, that doesn't necessarily mean they're going to lash out and attack you. [ not quite scolding, but. ] No one attacked Ragnvindr, did they?
Alberich, you have to lean on your better people. Make plans if you have to, but from me to you, that is what's going to get you through this. You aren't a traitor.
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Perhaps you're right, I'm not a traitor, I was just a puppet. All week. It's fine. Regardless... I do my best to lean on my better people. We make plans. We're... used to compulsion, and what comes with it.
[ he straightens the way he usually does to gather himself, a faint smile on his lips. would he have fathered it have been all of his own volition? after what he saw? ]
The locket was damning and I was lucky it was Estelle who was checking. Emet-Selch was only concerned with keys. And you can't even prove the abilities on them without another ability itself of course. Unless there's a job added onto someone contract for that as well.
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quiet, for a moment, and then: ]
Would you like me to pretend that I believe you're smiling because you feel better?
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slumps against them. sorry. ]
No... I give up for now. I have to wear the enough out there, I suppose.
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You're not as good of a liar as you think you are. [ a little huff. ] Maybe I'm just good at recognizing it.
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[ the hand in his hair is met with a quiet hum. kaeya just sort of goes quiet after that, staring downwards again before letting out a soft laugh. ]
A little more time and I'm sure they could have checked my room to match that fur. I should have it burned now. Unfortunate...
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Don't burn it. No one here has a long enough attention span to remember a piece of fluff from a drain for longer than a week. They'll be plenty occupied with whoever decides to murder next week.
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You sound so certain about that.
But that is where our focus should be regardless.