this isn't how he wanted to drink baizhu but it is now, i guess. he kicked aquila's leg back beneath it tiredly, his brows drawn together as he lets the alcohol sit in his system. ]
I feel terrible. My body feels terrible.
[ white-knuckled, he holds onto the locket around his throat. ] ]
Aquila... when you woke me up that morning, what was going through your head?
I told you before. I think you and I are too similar sometimes, captain.
[ there's a soft, amused huff. they watch him with the bottle for a moment longer, for the moment not drinking their own. and when he brings up the memory again...
... aquila's quiet, for a long moment, and they lean back in their own seat. ]
... I chose to lay my fate in the hands of two other people, after I made that decision. Not something I do very often. [ ... ] And it likely wouldn't have ended nearly as well is it did, if I hadn't.
I did what needed to be done, got what I needed, and kept moving.
he sighs, shifting a little. aquila, maybe, is not the best at comforting people, so he falls naturally into the logical route. ]
Even if people are suspicious of you, that doesn't necessarily mean they're going to lash out and attack you. [ not quite scolding, but. ] No one attacked Ragnvindr, did they?
Alberich, you have to lean on your better people. Make plans if you have to, but from me to you, that is what's going to get you through this. You aren't a traitor.
[ a long pause happens here, kaeya looks like he's searching for the words. ]
Perhaps you're right, I'm not a traitor, I was just a puppet. All week. It's fine. Regardless... I do my best to lean on my better people. We make plans. We're... used to compulsion, and what comes with it.
[ he straightens the way he usually does to gather himself, a faint smile on his lips. would he have fathered it have been all of his own volition? after what he saw? ]
The locket was damning and I was lucky it was Estelle who was checking. Emet-Selch was only concerned with keys. And you can't even prove the abilities on them without another ability itself of course. Unless there's a job added onto someone contract for that as well.
[ they stiffen up at first, just like they did the last time, but it doesn't last. instead, they reach around him and put their hand on his head, arm sort of casually resting on his shoulders and fingers threading loosely into his hair. ]
You're not as good of a liar as you think you are. [ a little huff. ] Maybe I'm just good at recognizing it.
[ they click their tongue, and keep that hand in his hair, then. ]
Don't burn it. No one here has a long enough attention span to remember a piece of fluff from a drain for longer than a week. They'll be plenty occupied with whoever decides to murder next week.
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this isn't how he wanted to drink baizhu but it is now, i guess. he kicked aquila's leg back beneath it tiredly, his brows drawn together as he lets the alcohol sit in his system. ]
I feel terrible. My body feels terrible.
[ white-knuckled, he holds onto the locket around his throat. ] ]
Aquila... when you woke me up that morning, what was going through your head?
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That I knew you wouldn't end up checking places you'd been.
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Smart bird.
[ he breathes out. ]
I must keep stepping forward. I wasn't spared just to waste time...
[ he looks to aquila now ]
The memory I saw... from you... how did it end for you?
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[ there's a soft, amused huff. they watch him with the bottle for a moment longer, for the moment not drinking their own. and when he brings up the memory again...
... aquila's quiet, for a long moment, and they lean back in their own seat. ]
... I chose to lay my fate in the hands of two other people, after I made that decision. Not something I do very often. [ ... ] And it likely wouldn't have ended nearly as well is it did, if I hadn't.
I did what needed to be done, got what I needed, and kept moving.
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[ he bites the inside of his lip. ]
Mikazuki knows, I'm certain. Others aren't stupid, either.
[ he sighs and lets go of the bottle, it stands alone on the table as he brings his hands together, one slowly trailing over the skin of his palm. ]
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And so? What happens next, then?
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Not sure how I'll do it, but... surely I can figure it out.
[ he laughs and it sounds... overwhelmed. ]
Ah, always the traitor, never the bride.
[ that's not how the saying goes ]
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he sighs, shifting a little. aquila, maybe, is not the best at comforting people, so he falls naturally into the logical route. ]
Even if people are suspicious of you, that doesn't necessarily mean they're going to lash out and attack you. [ not quite scolding, but. ] No one attacked Ragnvindr, did they?
Alberich, you have to lean on your better people. Make plans if you have to, but from me to you, that is what's going to get you through this. You aren't a traitor.
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Perhaps you're right, I'm not a traitor, I was just a puppet. All week. It's fine. Regardless... I do my best to lean on my better people. We make plans. We're... used to compulsion, and what comes with it.
[ he straightens the way he usually does to gather himself, a faint smile on his lips. would he have fathered it have been all of his own volition? after what he saw? ]
The locket was damning and I was lucky it was Estelle who was checking. Emet-Selch was only concerned with keys. And you can't even prove the abilities on them without another ability itself of course. Unless there's a job added onto someone contract for that as well.
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quiet, for a moment, and then: ]
Would you like me to pretend that I believe you're smiling because you feel better?
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slumps against them. sorry. ]
No... I give up for now. I have to wear the enough out there, I suppose.
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You're not as good of a liar as you think you are. [ a little huff. ] Maybe I'm just good at recognizing it.
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[ the hand in his hair is met with a quiet hum. kaeya just sort of goes quiet after that, staring downwards again before letting out a soft laugh. ]
A little more time and I'm sure they could have checked my room to match that fur. I should have it burned now. Unfortunate...
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Don't burn it. No one here has a long enough attention span to remember a piece of fluff from a drain for longer than a week. They'll be plenty occupied with whoever decides to murder next week.
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You sound so certain about that.
But that is where our focus should be regardless.