[Fortunately Aikawa is large enough that the wholeass oodachi fits behind his back pretty well, even though this soldier is literally just standing there like (eyes narrow) about this entire situation. Maybe this is an... enemy spy??? But, like. What kind of spy would do this? Isn't this so obviously weird that anyone would give it a second glance? Doesn't that defeat the purpose of trying to be sneaky?? But maybe that's the true spy technique! Oh damn, this guy might be high level...
Is how this soldier's thoughts are carrying on. His expression is serious, but his brain is empty.
Unfortunately for Aikawa, his suspicion levels are high enough that he does have the braincell to ask one thing, moving his hand from his sword to hold it out.]
[ Yeah he's very weird mister sir-san. Sometimes you should just accept that people are weird and maybe harmless even though he's 6'8" and therefore guaranteed to be like twice of your height if this manga were realistic.
He waits patiently while the guy plays 4D chess. And very innocently: ]
[This man shoulda been the actor sent out to get Virgo honestly...]
—Kidnapped?! [LIKE, WHAT. First of all who would kidnap a bozo that looks like this, and second of all. HUH.
Though it does seem to make sense to Kronk, for some reason. He opens the door a little more, and from the crack, Aikawa will be able to see that it does indeed look like barracks on the inside, too! Though the front area that he's currently looking into is more like an office space. There's another soldier sitting at a low table off to the side, who appears to periodically be giving the front door his attention, but otherwise the interior of the building seems empty up on this end.]
[ He does a tiny wave hello. Hi soldier sir I am a normal guy. ]
I don't know, I just kind of woke up in the middle of the forest over there, maybe about ten, fifteen minutes ago?
[ POINTS WHERE HE CAME FROM. ]
And I just followed the path here. Can you guide me to the nearest town or city or whatever? I think the sooner I can get back, the probably better. What is this anyway, like... some kind of station?
[Kuronku-dono, sixth of his line, squints out toward the forest in order to get a better look at where this dude came from but it's pretty far back!! Also, the moonlight has almost completely been obscured thanks to the rainclouds which have continued to gather throughout all of this. It looks like it might rain at any moment.]
If you've been kidnapped, then you need to make a report!
[The soldier says this somewhat incredulously, and perhaps he is rethinking his idea that this guy is some sort of masterful spy. This guy seems more like a dingdong, if he doesn't even know to report his kidnappers. Geez!]
This is the barracks of the New Government Force's Ijichi-dono's unit, and the nearest town is three ri away. You won't make it to their police before the rain hits. You should file your report here, first.
Okay Kronk is stupid but unfortunately he's not stupid enough that his alarm bells aren't entirely triggered by this, considering that 1) said "pile of dirt" is the execution ground of high profile enemies and 2) Tama happens to be the hometown of one of the high profile enemies that they recently executed there. SIR.
The suspicious look that had somewhat abated is back in full force, but! He thinks to himself, damn. Maybe I can be the sneaky one now.]
...Alright then, sir. If you'd please come with me, I'll show you to the paperwork that you'll need to file.
[Rudely, he doesn't even address those other questions. Wow. Instead, he just opens the door wider and gestures Aikawa in.]
[THERE'S GONNA BE NO END TO BULLYING THE AMNESIACS AROUND HERE. The soldier just gives Aikawa an incredulous look, before gesturing with his free hand more emphatically.]
[He can lean and peer, yes! There only appears to be that one dude who seems more or less wrapped up in his own paperwork, and this guy who's impatiently standing to the side of the door and waiting for Aikawa to come in.
With the door open more widely, it's clear that this front area is something of an office, with a few low tables and desks with piles of paper and maps. Candles keep it all decently lit, and since the windows are drawn shut for the encroaching storm, they maintain steady light rather than flickering.]
[Welcome to the lowass ceilings of the 1860s Japan wow why is this guy so HUGE ACTUALLY. Now that his entire towering frame is in here, the soldier sitting at the table glances over with a furrowed brow like "what". The ceiling is tragically not Aikawa-sized, unlike his trusty shovel (where did that even go actually) and sword, which means he's definitely going to be doing some neck gymnastics to escape just having his head bust through the roof.
The soldier leading him over toward a desk at the side makes a bit of a baffled face at that comment, though.]
I'll grab another candle, if you need one. [He simply doesn't know that it's not Aikawa's eyesight, it's their own olde tech.
Anyway he's also leaning over to rummage through the top drawer of that desk, pulling out a stack of some fancy official-looking paperwork and gesturing for Aikawa to take a seat in an uncomfortable and small-looking wooden chair.]
We'll need you to fill this out fully. Remember as much as you can from those travel papers.
[Unless stopped, he'll turn after that, presumably to go get that extra candle.]
[ Me: haha haven't gotten an Aki tag in a while maybe he finally went to bed eh? Me refreshing my inbox for some reason one last time before I leave work: HOH
Bold of you to assume he will not simply walk through this home and ruin their roof. No I'm kidding yeah he's ducking. He's used to it because Hole doesn't necessarily accommodate for 7'1" lizard people so, this is nothing new to him.
His shovel is still tucked into the obi of his timey wimey clothes! It's just hanging around. For some reason these assholes also aren't relieving him from his big stupid sword so he's gonna sit down and subtly keep his hand on the handle as he sits very casually. ]
Oh yeah, sure. Love candles. Just... they're great. Heat and light at the same time, two birds with one stone. Couldn't ask for more. Hey, I don't have to pay you if I break this chair, right?
[ Squeeeeezing onto this chair awkwardly, pushing it back for leg room. And taking... whatever writing utensil they have provided for him with his left hand and giving this paper a quick lookover. Tell me how badly he can shitpost on this before these men possibly try to kill him. ]
[i cant believe the spirit of kronk moved you to check your inbox and reveal him
Good on him and his neck problems though, but at least he can sit in this shitty chair and not have to worry about his head going through the roof for a little while.
The guy at the other desk is still eying him, but maybe they're two Kronks cut from the same cloth because yeah neither of them are attempting to disarm him, nor have they asked him about the giant shovel hanging around in his obi. Granted, they haven't even asked him to take his mask off, so truly the bar is on the floor.]
What? Don't break the chair.
[Comes the distant voice of Guy Who Went To Get The Candle, like he thinks Aikawa's going to break it on purpose...
He isn't heading back just yet so there's free shitposting range on the paper that he's looking at! It asks for typical things: Age, full name, hometown, traveler's permit number, and a larger section for the "reason for report".
There are also a selection of ink brushes on the desk for him to choose from, and a little well of ink ready to use. There's a stack of papers off to the side of the desk, too, and a map of some sort rests on the top.]
[ The security on these barracks suck if they think he's really affiliated with their enemies. ]
It isn't my choice. That's like telling me to lose some weight. Is that what you're saying? That's very mean...
[ He'll turn this paper over with a hand to look over it, but then also sneak the map off the paper pile... and he will rest the sword temporarily to write down the following:
Name: Vaux Sucksman Age: anywhere between 42 and 68 Hometown: Hole Traveler's Permit No: 666 Reason for Report: they're victim-blaming me for getting kidnapped, the system is corrupt ]
Anyway. He manages to nab the map without the one dude at the desk noticing, seemingly. However, once the first guy returns to set a nice new candle on the desk since he did not in fact leave to get a bazooka, he glances briefly over the paper.
HOMETOWN: HOLE JUST REALLY GETS THEM among all of the incredibly and egregiously false information on here. He jabs a finger into the paper, very rudely interrupting any further progress Aikawa may have tried to make and smearing some of the ink.]
—What kind of funny business are you trying to pull, huh?! You're definitely too suspicious to have amnesia!
[WHAT DOES THAT MEAN.
Well, he's turning to face Desk Man in a way that implies he's probably going to try to Do Something about this suspicious guy, finally.]
[The pen hits the floor and rolls away, leaving a nasty splatter of ink as it goes... Tragic.
Anyway with a little prompting from Kronk 1, Kronk 2 is also getting to their feet and both have their hands resting on the blades at their sides.]
Vaux Sucksman, I hereby declare that you will be kept under the custody of Ijichi-dono's forces until further notice! Relinquish your weapon and place your hands in front of you!
[Finally they are being... 2% useful... perhaps. Honestly Kronk 2 looks like he would simply rather not be here right now, but Kronk 1 has decided that it's time to just go for it and stop beating around the bush that's apparently full of spies and amnesiacs.]
[It's funny because this is the side of the army that used guns first and yet these two twinks are out here with their candles and their swords.]
Hey—!! Get back here, Sucksman!!
[It's a fair amount of papers, fortunately! But unfortunately it is, in the end, just a stack of papers. Outside of creating an initial moment of confusion and slightly obscured vision which gives Aikawa a slight edge, the papers settle harmlessly to the ground as the two withdraw their swords, charging after him.
Based on where they're charging from, he can dash forward further into the building with a little bit of finagling, back out toward the door he had come through with the caveat that he'll have to stop long enough to open it, or like, jump through a window or something, i don't know his life.]
I lied, dipshits! My name's not Sucksman, so stop calling me that! This is really making me rethink insulting Vaux...!
[ That's okay, the brief moment of confusion is what he needed to at least kind of get a head start dashing somewhere else. Why not, let's go in deeper into the building. He is fortunately, very fast and fleet of foot. Ideally, there's some kind of ledges or something he can leap onto, but the low ceiling is currently suggesting to him there won't be. ]
Let me back outside and I'll consider this all water under the bridge! [ JUST. AS HE FLEES. ] We can forget about this and start all over, okaaaay?!
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
...
...
...
Yyyyyyyyyyyes?
[ He looks down at himself and hides the big ol' sword behind his back. ]
...I'm gonna be honest, I just woke up in the middle of the woods. Uh, can I get some directions? Like, which way is east?
no subject
Is how this soldier's thoughts are carrying on. His expression is serious, but his brain is empty.
Unfortunately for Aikawa, his suspicion levels are high enough that he does have the braincell to ask one thing, moving his hand from his sword to hold it out.]
I'll have to see your travel papers first.
no subject
He waits patiently while the guy plays 4D chess. And very innocently: ]
My wha-huh hah?
no subject
Your travel papers. [As if repeating that will help???] You must have them, if you've even ended up this far into this area.
no subject
[ THE BULLSHITTING BEGINS NOW EXCEPT IT'S NOT REALLY BULLSHITTING ]
no subject
—Kidnapped?! [LIKE, WHAT. First of all who would kidnap a bozo that looks like this, and second of all. HUH.
Though it does seem to make sense to Kronk, for some reason. He opens the door a little more, and from the crack, Aikawa will be able to see that it does indeed look like barracks on the inside, too! Though the front area that he's currently looking into is more like an office space. There's another soldier sitting at a low table off to the side, who appears to periodically be giving the front door his attention, but otherwise the interior of the building seems empty up on this end.]
By who?! Just now?
no subject
I don't know, I just kind of woke up in the middle of the forest over there, maybe about ten, fifteen minutes ago?
[ POINTS WHERE HE CAME FROM. ]
And I just followed the path here. Can you guide me to the nearest town or city or whatever? I think the sooner I can get back, the probably better. What is this anyway, like... some kind of station?
no subject
If you've been kidnapped, then you need to make a report!
[The soldier says this somewhat incredulously, and perhaps he is rethinking his idea that this guy is some sort of masterful spy. This guy seems more like a dingdong, if he doesn't even know to report his kidnappers. Geez!]
This is the barracks of the New Government Force's Ijichi-dono's unit, and the nearest town is three ri away. You won't make it to their police before the rain hits. You should file your report here, first.
no subject
[ Technically not NOT true? ]
By the way, what's with the pile of dirt over there?
Also do you know a place called Tama? It's... uhh, the only name I remember!
no subject
Okay Kronk is stupid but unfortunately he's not stupid enough that his alarm bells aren't entirely triggered by this, considering that 1) said "pile of dirt" is the execution ground of high profile enemies and 2) Tama happens to be the hometown of one of the high profile enemies that they recently executed there. SIR.
The suspicious look that had somewhat abated is back in full force, but! He thinks to himself, damn. Maybe I can be the sneaky one now.]
...Alright then, sir. If you'd please come with me, I'll show you to the paperwork that you'll need to file.
[Rudely, he doesn't even address those other questions. Wow. Instead, he just opens the door wider and gestures Aikawa in.]
no subject
[ STOP ]
no subject
I can answer your questions inside, sir.
no subject
Well, if shit goes south, he only sees two...
He's leaning to the side a little and peering in, can he see anyone else first? He's being subtle and at least looking like he'll comply. ]
no subject
With the door open more widely, it's clear that this front area is something of an office, with a few low tables and desks with piles of paper and maps. Candles keep it all decently lit, and since the windows are drawn shut for the encroaching storm, they maintain steady light rather than flickering.]
This way, please.
no subject
[ Okie he will enter, exsqueeze me sir as he will kinda waddle in. ]
Dark in here, huh!
[ Stop dissing their ye olde technology. ]
So...?
no subject
The soldier leading him over toward a desk at the side makes a bit of a baffled face at that comment, though.]
I'll grab another candle, if you need one. [He simply doesn't know that it's not Aikawa's eyesight, it's their own olde tech.
Anyway he's also leaning over to rummage through the top drawer of that desk, pulling out a stack of some fancy official-looking paperwork and gesturing for Aikawa to take a seat in an uncomfortable and small-looking wooden chair.]
We'll need you to fill this out fully. Remember as much as you can from those travel papers.
[Unless stopped, he'll turn after that, presumably to go get that extra candle.]
no subject
Me refreshing my inbox for some reason one last time before I leave work: HOH
Bold of you to assume he will not simply walk through this home and ruin their roof. No I'm kidding yeah he's ducking. He's used to it because Hole doesn't necessarily accommodate for 7'1" lizard people so, this is nothing new to him.
His shovel is still tucked into the obi of his timey wimey clothes! It's just hanging around. For some reason these assholes also aren't relieving him from his big stupid sword so he's gonna sit down and subtly keep his hand on the handle as he sits very casually. ]
Oh yeah, sure. Love candles. Just... they're great. Heat and light at the same time, two birds with one stone. Couldn't ask for more. Hey, I don't have to pay you if I break this chair, right?
[ Squeeeeezing onto this chair awkwardly, pushing it back for leg room. And taking... whatever writing utensil they have provided for him with his left hand and giving this paper a quick lookover. Tell me how badly he can shitpost on this before these men possibly try to kill him. ]
no subject
Good on him and his neck problems though, but at least he can sit in this shitty chair and not have to worry about his head going through the roof for a little while.
The guy at the other desk is still eying him, but maybe they're two Kronks cut from the same cloth because yeah neither of them are attempting to disarm him, nor have they asked him about the giant shovel hanging around in his obi. Granted, they haven't even asked him to take his mask off, so truly the bar is on the floor.]
What? Don't break the chair.
[Comes the distant voice of Guy Who Went To Get The Candle, like he thinks Aikawa's going to break it on purpose...
He isn't heading back just yet so there's free shitposting range on the paper that he's looking at! It asks for typical things: Age, full name, hometown, traveler's permit number, and a larger section for the "reason for report".
There are also a selection of ink brushes on the desk for him to choose from, and a little well of ink ready to use. There's a stack of papers off to the side of the desk, too, and a map of some sort rests on the top.]
no subject
It isn't my choice. That's like telling me to lose some weight. Is that what you're saying? That's very mean...
[ He'll turn this paper over with a hand to look over it, but then also sneak the map off the paper pile... and he will rest the sword temporarily to write down the following:
Name: Vaux Sucksman
Age: anywhere between 42 and 68
Hometown: Hole
Traveler's Permit No: 666
Reason for Report: they're victim-blaming me for getting kidnapped, the system is corrupt ]
no subject
Anyway. He manages to nab the map without the one dude at the desk noticing, seemingly. However, once the first guy returns to set a nice new candle on the desk since he did not in fact leave to get a bazooka, he glances briefly over the paper.
HOMETOWN: HOLE JUST REALLY GETS THEM among all of the incredibly and egregiously false information on here. He jabs a finger into the paper, very rudely interrupting any further progress Aikawa may have tried to make and smearing some of the ink.]
—What kind of funny business are you trying to pull, huh?! You're definitely too suspicious to have amnesia!
[WHAT DOES THAT MEAN.
Well, he's turning to face Desk Man in a way that implies he's probably going to try to Do Something about this suspicious guy, finally.]
no subject
Well! Now that's just rude! What kind of information did you expect an amnesiac to write on this paper huh!
[ STANDING UP AND POINTING A FINGER AT HIM LIKE A TRUE KAREN. ]
I am Vaux Sucksman, and I came crawling out of a hole I woke up in the middle of the woods! What else did you expect me to write!
no subject
Anyway with a little prompting from Kronk 1, Kronk 2 is also getting to their feet and both have their hands resting on the blades at their sides.]
Vaux Sucksman, I hereby declare that you will be kept under the custody of Ijichi-dono's forces until further notice! Relinquish your weapon and place your hands in front of you!
[Finally they are being... 2% useful... perhaps. Honestly Kronk 2 looks like he would simply rather not be here right now, but Kronk 1 has decided that it's time to just go for it and stop beating around the bush that's apparently full of spies and amnesiacs.]
no subject
[ He's frowning. Well, at the very least, they have swords and not guns, which would be way worse. ]
Mmm, well, you know, I've got a place I gotta be, soooooooooo...
...
[ Btw that stack of papers, is it a fair amount? He's gonna suddenly dash (kicking the chair back) and scatter these papers everywhere. ]
no subject
Hey—!! Get back here, Sucksman!!
[It's a fair amount of papers, fortunately! But unfortunately it is, in the end, just a stack of papers. Outside of creating an initial moment of confusion and slightly obscured vision which gives Aikawa a slight edge, the papers settle harmlessly to the ground as the two withdraw their swords, charging after him.
Based on where they're charging from, he can dash forward further into the building with a little bit of finagling, back out toward the door he had come through with the caveat that he'll have to stop long enough to open it, or like, jump through a window or something, i don't know his life.]
no subject
[ That's okay, the brief moment of confusion is what he needed to at least kind of get a head start dashing somewhere else. Why not, let's go in deeper into the building. He is fortunately, very fast and fleet of foot. Ideally, there's some kind of ledges or something he can leap onto, but the low ceiling is currently suggesting to him there won't be. ]
Let me back outside and I'll consider this all water under the bridge! [ JUST. AS HE FLEES. ] We can forget about this and start all over, okaaaay?!
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)