[ Who is Yume Nikki Masada-Uboa crossover looking motherfucker? Is this a white man??? Also to be fair there's way weirder and worse in his canon that people just kinda pass off as normal so he's not too pressed about this guy just kinda... not addressing his... everything.
That being said, his house was creepy as hell and so is he, so Aikawa is just not gonna
[lowe right now with this guy is literally me with the inventors in that escape room except they were white in blood and ikoma is white in color palette
Anyway! It's a battle of the weirds now. Just as Aikawa doesn't seem to react to this guy's weirdness, he doesn't seem to react to Aikawa's weirdness. Like. He's just not making any mention of the wholeass body on his back or in his little cart.
Instead, he peers around Aikawa's side, over toward the boat.]
Oh... What a nice-looking young man...? Why don't we go and say hello...?
[W...whether or not Aikawa comes with him, the man is going to start heading in that direction.]
[ You know what, he's tempted to say something but he's already sorta committed to this bit so he's just gonna. Stick with this bit. Because it seems it's at least sort of working so that this man doesn't harass him some more. That being said, he is warily? Watching this guy go...?
Sure, he'll follow from a bit of distance. Wyd, maybe he can at least eavesdrop on their conversation if they have one. ]
[From a distance he goooes. The man really doesn't seem to want to bother Aikawa too much, instead approaching the boat and the figure within with much more rapt attention.
Where Aikawa's at, keeping the distance he is, he'll be able to overhear some snatches of conversation and other sounds! The figure in the boat turns and looks upon hearing someone approaching. It's difficult to make out exact features, but from stature and voice, it appears to be a young man.]
Captain—? Wait - who are you?!
[To which the reedy-voiced man replies with:] Oh, no... Oh, no... That armband... Could it be...? Are you from Aizu...?
[He's swaying back and forward where he stands while he talks, but doesn't raise the cleaver. Despite his words, his tone doesn't sound very concerned or upset, either; it's the same even keel as it has been this whole time.
The person in the boat is definitely not taking an "out-weird your opponent" route, though! He stands up and places a hand on the hilt of his sword, the boat rocking from the motion.]
That uniform... Are you from the New Government forces?!
[Wowie, it appears like there's about to be some kind of showdown over here.]
Or it's more accurate to say, the guy with a cleaver is suddenly launching himself at this poor young man who's scrambling to withdraw his blade. By the looks of things, Cleaver Man is definitely going to have the edge in this scenario, since he's mad fast and appears to move with the sort of finesse you'd expect of a seasoned soldier. Or cannibal?? Anyway he makes his fellow Kronks look even sadder and more incompetent, basically.
External actions: dropping Isami's body onto the wheelbarrow, muttering a curse under his breath, and dashing forward with his broken sword fake knife piece to intercept that cleaver strike because what the fuck. Sometimes you try so hard to do a pacifist speedrun but God is testing you.
[Isami's body drops like a sack of potatoes and fortunately doesn't explode. God continues to test Aikawa - he's speedy enough to make it! Kind of! Sir fancypants cleaver man over here seems surprised about the sudden quick intrusion from laughing grandpa mask.
Unfortunately, due to the angle at which Aikawa intercepts the cleaver strike and where the boatman is standing, the cleaver slides from the side of his broken blade rather than being locked in place and it sinks directly into the crook between boatman's neck and shoulder, causing him to fall back with a pained yelp and a very anime blood spurt.
Cleaver man is trying to pull back his cleaver, and seems to be looking at and through Aikawa at the same time.]
Why...? Why would you do such a thing...? Won't you step aside...?
Anyway! Despite the fact that this dude leapt at boatman with such fervor, he actually seems pretty easily cowed. Aikawa strikes at his wrist which makes contact, and while he doesn't drop his cleaver, he holds it and his arm to his chest and gives Aikawa an incredulously distraught look. The vibes are very Miette right now.]
Oh... Oh... I see... [He's glancing over toward where Aikawa's left his barrow o' bodies before looking back toward the boat.] I see...
[DOES HE??]
Could it be, that I've made a mistake...? Friend, are you collecting these tonight...? Bodies...? Won't you spare this one for me...?
[The "body" is STILL ALIVE the boatman is just rolling on the boat floor clutching his shoulder and groaning in pain.]
[The albino not white weirdo just sways from side to side for a few moments, fussing with the handle of the cleaver and glancing over toward the wheelbarrow again.]
No, no... I could never... Desecrate a grave, for food...? My dear Gennou, eating such a thing...? Oh, no, no... My sweet, sweet Gennou...! He must still be out there...? Hunting again...?
[Toward the end of that, it's more like this dude just starts mumbling to himself rather than talking to Aikawa directly. HE THEN JUST.
STARTS TO WANDER OFF AGAIN.
He's taking his cleaver with him and he's just sort of ambling in the general direction of the wheelbarrow, but he seems poised to simply walk past it, muttering about Gennou and feasting and young men as he goes.]
[ He doesn't have a good feeling about that guy, and is the first that gets an Probably Okay To Kill in his books. He'll remember you, weirdo... and I suppose, that name. Gennou or whatever.
He'll back up slowly to the guy in the boat while watching this guy hobble off, just in case -- but when it seems clear that he will not ransack his body wheelbarrow, he'll dip to check on this boat guy.
[:( Wow... Aikawa, so cruel... He's just a little guy.
But the man does not stop for the wheelbarrow and does indeed keep going, no jumpscares or surprises there. As for the guy in the boat, he looks. WELL. He looks like he took a cleaver to the junction between his neck and shoulder, it ain't great! He's not on his way out the door just yet, but he probably needs some sort of medical treatment.
Though the man's face isn't familiar to Aikawa, they seem to recognize him. The expression that had been twisted in pain seems to show some relief, and he struggles to sit upright, getting his nasty bloods all over the place.]
C-captain... [HE'S BEEN HIT.] Gh-- I'm sorry, but I don't think I can man the boat like this... We need to get out of here fast, though. That guy's definitely going to get backup.
[ Who died and let HIM be captain??? But he'll chalk this ip to the usual weird world shenanigans, sure. And he's gonna tear off a chunk of his sleeve and let's get this man a makeshift gauze and bandage to wrap tightly around his shoulder. ]
Okay, sit still a second... there. Fuck, who was that guy? I agree with you on getting the fuck out of here, though.
Um...can I take those with me?
[ Pointing to... the wheelbarrow of corpses. He can't leave without them... ]
[Yay! The man is saved! Or at least, he's not going to bleed out just yet. He gives Aikawa a grateful look, mumbling a thanks as he works.]
Ergh... I can't be sure, but I've been hearing rumors lately about a rogue soldier that was brought onto Satsuma's team... The guy supposedly lives in the woods and hardly anyone knows anything about him, but there's some real bad rumors. Like his reasons for being jailed before...
[Whatever the rumors are, the poor guy shudders a little. But he's distracted by the question and glances over!]
That's Kondo-dono's body, right? Of course - we're taking it to Tama, after all. [...SQUINTING??] Wait, is there another one in there? [HYELP.]
Uh, yeah. That's a... personal friend. Uh, he was in the same place so I brought him with.
[ He says this ever-so-lamely but it is actually the truth. He's also confused by the fact that this guy is like YEAH THE CORPSE GOES TO TAMA like it's common sense. Is there a revival magic user in Tama or something??? ]
...Do you think you can use your other arm, or...?
[ Because he also has a bit of a burn on his left arm, but he also just. Looks down at the guy. Well, he took a skewer to the back but he didn't get his neck almost chopped off, he supposes. ]
You know what, nevermind. You just point in the direction we gotta go to.
[ LET'S LOAD UP THESE BODIES AND HOPE IT HOLDS. RIVER CROSSING TIME, OREGON TRAIL TIME. Also being judged by this guy is one of the least of his concerns atm. ]
[SWEET AIKAWA help. It's a good thing he changes his mind because this poor dude looks absolutely like "ME??? MY ARM??" when he's asked that. Sweaty.]
O-okay... And if you really need some help, I'll try my best...!
[At least he's got spunk.
Anyway! This is a boat that's small enough for two living people and one corpse, so tragically, it doesn't look like he'll be able to fit two corpses and himself in there along with the injured boatman. The moment he puts in the second body, he'll be able to see that the boat's sitting deep enough in the water that one more person would probably sink it. Hm. What to do?]
[ THE GUY GETS A LOOK BACK LIKE AND I HAVE A STAB WOUND AND A BURN ON MY OWN ARM WDYW FROM ME.
But he sighs when he sees the situation. ]
...Can we cross the river once and come back for it? I'll just do it myself if I gotta and you can get off on the other side, I'll remember my way back.
[SWEET AIKAWA... The guy looks a little distraught, but what's he going to do?? Say no to his captain?? Absolutely not, nope, not him.
He seems to be considering something for a moment.]
...Um... [He looks at the patched up wound on his shoulder, and then back at Aikawa.] ...If you need to transport both of them, then you can take them and the boat. I'll tell you where to go. I wouldn't really be much more than dead weight right now myself, anyway.
And what, leave you around to get picked off by those fuckers?
[ He doesn't understand anything but it's clear that those guys from the camp and that weirdo are probably his enemies. If boatman was healthy because it wasn't a nat20 he'd be like ok thaaanks but unfortunately not.
He is thinking mentally about how he's gonna have to do this, though. Probably hide the body real quick for crossing so that nobody takes it. The journey after is gonna suck since he can't take the wheelbarrow with but hopefully it's not too far to Tama, the rest of the way...
The secret of Aikawa actually having some braincells despite how he acts the fool... ]
[His braincell activates... There are enough shrubs and general vegetation in the area that he could feasibly and quite easily hide a corpse in them without it being easy to detect! And his weirdass friend from earlier didn't seem interested in corpses, after all.
The boatman shakes his head a little.]
I-I'll be fine! I know the back paths around this area really well. You don't have to worry about me, captain.
[He does have a sword, and he probably does know the way around, but the choice is of course up to sweet Aikawa as to what he wants to do next.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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That being said, his house was creepy as hell and so is he, so Aikawa is just not gonna
answer him
? ]
...
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Anyway! It's a battle of the weirds now. Just as Aikawa doesn't seem to react to this guy's weirdness, he doesn't seem to react to Aikawa's weirdness. Like. He's just not making any mention of the wholeass body on his back or in his little cart.
Instead, he peers around Aikawa's side, over toward the boat.]
Oh... What a nice-looking young man...? Why don't we go and say hello...?
[W...whether or not Aikawa comes with him, the man is going to start heading in that direction.]
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Sure, he'll follow from a bit of distance. Wyd, maybe he can at least eavesdrop on their conversation if they have one. ]
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Where Aikawa's at, keeping the distance he is, he'll be able to overhear some snatches of conversation and other sounds! The figure in the boat turns and looks upon hearing someone approaching. It's difficult to make out exact features, but from stature and voice, it appears to be a young man.]
Captain—? Wait - who are you?!
[To which the reedy-voiced man replies with:] Oh, no... Oh, no... That armband... Could it be...? Are you from Aizu...?
[He's swaying back and forward where he stands while he talks, but doesn't raise the cleaver. Despite his words, his tone doesn't sound very concerned or upset, either; it's the same even keel as it has been this whole time.
The person in the boat is definitely not taking an "out-weird your opponent" route, though! He stands up and places a hand on the hilt of his sword, the boat rocking from the motion.]
That uniform... Are you from the New Government forces?!
[Wowie, it appears like there's about to be some kind of showdown over here.]
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Hold on -- wait a minute --
[ DON'T FIGHT, KIDS!! Between injuries and the smell of corpse, he's very tired. ]
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Or it's more accurate to say, the guy with a cleaver is suddenly launching himself at this poor young man who's scrambling to withdraw his blade. By the looks of things, Cleaver Man is definitely going to have the edge in this scenario, since he's mad fast and appears to move with the sort of finesse you'd expect of a seasoned soldier. Or cannibal?? Anyway he makes his fellow Kronks look even sadder and more incompetent, basically.
Sweet, tired Aikawa, what will he do...]
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External actions: dropping Isami's body onto the wheelbarrow, muttering a curse under his breath, and dashing forward with his broken sword fake knife piece to intercept that cleaver strike because what the fuck. Sometimes you try so hard to do a pacifist speedrun but God is testing you.
ANYWAY, AIKAWA IS A SPEEDY LAD WILL HE MAKE IT? ]
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Unfortunately, due to the angle at which Aikawa intercepts the cleaver strike and where the boatman is standing, the cleaver slides from the side of his broken blade rather than being locked in place and it sinks directly into the crook between boatman's neck and shoulder, causing him to fall back with a pained yelp and a very anime blood spurt.
Cleaver man is trying to pull back his cleaver, and seems to be looking at and through Aikawa at the same time.]
Why...? Why would you do such a thing...? Won't you step aside...?
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Because I feel like it, I guess -- !
[ That being said, moving to strike Mr. Cleaver Man in the wrist of the arm holding the titular cleaver. ]
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Anyway! Despite the fact that this dude leapt at boatman with such fervor, he actually seems pretty easily cowed. Aikawa strikes at his wrist which makes contact, and while he doesn't drop his cleaver, he holds it and his arm to his chest and gives Aikawa an incredulously distraught look. The vibes are very Miette right now.]
Oh... Oh... I see... [He's glancing over toward where Aikawa's left his barrow o' bodies before looking back toward the boat.] I see...
[DOES HE??]
Could it be, that I've made a mistake...? Friend, are you collecting these tonight...? Bodies...? Won't you spare this one for me...?
[The "body" is STILL ALIVE the boatman is just rolling on the boat floor clutching his shoulder and groaning in pain.]
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No! Why do you need bodies?! There's a graveyard a couple feet back in that direction, if you want 'em, take a shovel and go get them yourself!
[ LOADS OF BODIES BACK THERE MR. ALPHA KRONK. They may be rotting but I hope u don't mind. ]
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No, no... I could never... Desecrate a grave, for food...? My dear Gennou, eating such a thing...? Oh, no, no... My sweet, sweet Gennou...! He must still be out there...? Hunting again...?
[Toward the end of that, it's more like this dude just starts mumbling to himself rather than talking to Aikawa directly. HE THEN JUST.
STARTS TO WANDER OFF AGAIN.
He's taking his cleaver with him and he's just sort of ambling in the general direction of the wheelbarrow, but he seems poised to simply walk past it, muttering about Gennou and feasting and young men as he goes.]
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[ He doesn't have a good feeling about that guy, and is the first that gets an Probably Okay To Kill in his books. He'll remember you, weirdo... and I suppose, that name. Gennou or whatever.
He'll back up slowly to the guy in the boat while watching this guy hobble off, just in case -- but when it seems clear that he will not ransack his body wheelbarrow, he'll dip to check on this boat guy.
Are you okay sir!!!! ]
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But the man does not stop for the wheelbarrow and does indeed keep going, no jumpscares or surprises there. As for the guy in the boat, he looks. WELL. He looks like he took a cleaver to the junction between his neck and shoulder, it ain't great! He's not on his way out the door just yet, but he probably needs some sort of medical treatment.
Though the man's face isn't familiar to Aikawa, they seem to recognize him. The expression that had been twisted in pain seems to show some relief, and he struggles to sit upright, getting his nasty bloods all over the place.]
C-captain... [HE'S BEEN HIT.] Gh-- I'm sorry, but I don't think I can man the boat like this... We need to get out of here fast, though. That guy's definitely going to get backup.
[IS HE??]
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Okay, sit still a second... there. Fuck, who was that guy? I agree with you on getting the fuck out of here, though.
Um...can I take those with me?
[ Pointing to... the wheelbarrow of corpses. He can't leave without them... ]
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Ergh... I can't be sure, but I've been hearing rumors lately about a rogue soldier that was brought onto Satsuma's team... The guy supposedly lives in the woods and hardly anyone knows anything about him, but there's some real bad rumors. Like his reasons for being jailed before...
[Whatever the rumors are, the poor guy shudders a little. But he's distracted by the question and glances over!]
That's Kondo-dono's body, right? Of course - we're taking it to Tama, after all. [...SQUINTING??] Wait, is there another one in there? [HYELP.]
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[ He says this ever-so-lamely but it is actually the truth. He's also confused by the fact that this guy is like YEAH THE CORPSE GOES TO TAMA like it's common sense. Is there a revival magic user in Tama or something??? ]
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I'm not sure if the boat'll be able to take all of that weight, but we can give it a try, sure.
[It is, after all, a relatively small vessel. But at least he's not saying no! He also gives his arm a little test swing, wincing.]
...I think you're gonna have to be the one to get this thing moving, too. Sorry, captain.
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[ Because he also has a bit of a burn on his left arm, but he also just. Looks down at the guy. Well, he took a skewer to the back but he didn't get his neck almost chopped off, he supposes. ]
You know what, nevermind. You just point in the direction we gotta go to.
[ LET'S LOAD UP THESE BODIES AND HOPE IT HOLDS. RIVER CROSSING TIME, OREGON TRAIL TIME. Also being judged by this guy is one of the least of his concerns atm. ]
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O-okay... And if you really need some help, I'll try my best...!
[At least he's got spunk.
Anyway! This is a boat that's small enough for two living people and one corpse, so tragically, it doesn't look like he'll be able to fit two corpses and himself in there along with the injured boatman. The moment he puts in the second body, he'll be able to see that the boat's sitting deep enough in the water that one more person would probably sink it. Hm. What to do?]
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But he sighs when he sees the situation. ]
...Can we cross the river once and come back for it? I'll just do it myself if I gotta and you can get off on the other side, I'll remember my way back.
[ HIS RISU. Mentally calls him a fatass. ]
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He seems to be considering something for a moment.]
...Um... [He looks at the patched up wound on his shoulder, and then back at Aikawa.] ...If you need to transport both of them, then you can take them and the boat. I'll tell you where to go. I wouldn't really be much more than dead weight right now myself, anyway.
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[ He doesn't understand anything but it's clear that those guys from the camp and that weirdo are probably his enemies. If boatman was healthy because it wasn't a nat20 he'd be like ok thaaanks but unfortunately not.
He is thinking mentally about how he's gonna have to do this, though. Probably hide the body real quick for crossing so that nobody takes it. The journey after is gonna suck since he can't take the wheelbarrow with but hopefully it's not too far to Tama, the rest of the way...
The secret of Aikawa actually having some braincells despite how he acts the fool... ]
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The boatman shakes his head a little.]
I-I'll be fine! I know the back paths around this area really well. You don't have to worry about me, captain.
[He does have a sword, and he probably does know the way around, but the choice is of course up to sweet Aikawa as to what he wants to do next.]
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[ THEY'RE WASTING TIME SWEET BOAT BLORBO HIS PACIFIST RUN ]
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