... I am not afraid to talk to him, but I do not think I have it in me to be mature while talking to him.
[ at least not right now. she is unfailingly human, and she has never been more human than in this week, aching, hurting, and angry, always too angry. ]
Not for a while yet. [ she is still young in that way. ] I'll apologize in advance for any disturbance I cause.
[ sometimes, you're just a petty teenager and can't help it.
but on forgiveness: ]
You don't have to. I wouldn't expect you to. I don't think he would either.
[ the apology makes him- sort of helplessly laugh, head dropping. it's sort of humorless, but it's more like you just have to laugh. ]
... I am more than used to dealing with disturbances. [ for so many reasons. also, it's not like... the alleged perpetrator isn't just a walking disturbance most of the time. orion is very tired. ] But your consideration is appreciated, as always.
[ and... for the last bit, he shifts a little, uncomfortable. some of the weight that's always on orion's shoulders seems heavier, here; he seems smaller. ]
... I don't either. But... even still, I know that I should. [ forgive him. ] Someone showed me grace in a similar moment, and I'll never forget it. It changed my life. It would be the right thing to do.
[ there's an unvoiced thought there; but can I do the right thing? ]
[ her very human and teenage side aside, his next words make her look at him more closely. she steps away from the window and makes her way over to him.
she reaches for his hands. her words are soft. ]
I may not be the right person to say this, as I don't care what you should do, only what is best and what would make you feel better. What the right thing to do is... it isn't the same for everyone, but because you have those thoughts, I think you can. You strive towards kindness, always.
In time, you'll be able to do what's right for you and what you you think the right thing is.
I don't think forgiveness should be easily given or easily received. That's what gives it meaning.
[ it is easier for shinobu to grab hold onto anger, but she also knows how far compassion can go. ]
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no subject
[ at least not right now. she is unfailingly human, and she has never been more human than in this week, aching, hurting, and angry, always too angry. ]
Not for a while yet. [ she is still young in that way. ] I'll apologize in advance for any disturbance I cause.
[ sometimes, you're just a petty teenager and can't help it.
but on forgiveness: ]
You don't have to. I wouldn't expect you to. I don't think he would either.
no subject
... I am more than used to dealing with disturbances. [ for so many reasons. also, it's not like... the alleged perpetrator isn't just a walking disturbance most of the time. orion is very tired. ] But your consideration is appreciated, as always.
[ and... for the last bit, he shifts a little, uncomfortable. some of the weight that's always on orion's shoulders seems heavier, here; he seems smaller. ]
... I don't either. But... even still, I know that I should. [ forgive him. ] Someone showed me grace in a similar moment, and I'll never forget it. It changed my life. It would be the right thing to do.
[ there's an unvoiced thought there; but can I do the right thing? ]
no subject
she reaches for his hands. her words are soft. ]
I may not be the right person to say this, as I don't care what you should do, only what is best and what would make you feel better. What the right thing to do is... it isn't the same for everyone, but because you have those thoughts, I think you can. You strive towards kindness, always.
In time, you'll be able to do what's right for you and what you you think the right thing is.
I don't think forgiveness should be easily given or easily received. That's what gives it meaning.
[ it is easier for shinobu to grab hold onto anger, but she also knows how far compassion can go. ]