AUDIENCE FOR: Sheila Hammond

[guestservices]

Comments

[guestservices]

[they seem a little uncomfortable. perhaps they're not used to being thanked.]

You...

[there is a long, awkward pause.]

You're welcome?

[toesies]

[cries at the typo in my last tag

Anyway, Sheila laughs and nudges them while she continues to drag them to the restaurant.]

Don't make it sound like a question! Come on, where's all that confidence from five seconds ago?

[guestservices]

[me trying to find the typo: ??????]

My confidence didn't fucking go anywhere!

[toesies]

[i missed a word u_u]

Heck yeah it didn't! So say it again, just like that! "You're fucking welcome, Sheila!"

[guestservices]

YOU'RE FUCKING WELCOME, SHEILA!

[toesies]

[She claps, delighted.]

Hell yeah, I am!

[guestservices]

Hahahahahahaha!!!

[toesies]

[Pats their arm.]

So, besides men, what kinds of foods are your favorite?

[guestservices]

...other types of meat!

[toesies]

So all meat, no veggies. I can respect that.

[guestservices]

Yeah. Fuck vegetables.

[toesies]

Fuck vegetables!






Though, weren't you just eating french fries?

[guestservices]

That's a vegetable?!

[toesies]

Botanically, yeah. But the food pyramid is weird like that, so we call it a starch instead.

[guestservices]

The what.

[toesies]

The food pyramid?

[guestservices]

What the fuck is that?

[toesies]

It's a nutrition thing. You have to eat certain amounts of different types of foods to grow big and strong. Or, you know, that's what you tell your kids at dinnertime.

[guestservices]

[they mutter "food pyramid" under their breath and nod.]

I'll keep that in mind next time someone tries to tell me what I should and shouldn't eat.

[toesies]

Are you planning to look into it?

[guestservices]

Of course! It sounds like the perfect thing to get stupid bastards who try to tell me what I should be eating off my back, hahahaha!!

[toesies]

Well, good for you! Knowledge is power.

[guestservices]

Hahahaha! And I'm the most powerful of all, so of course I'm going to be the most knowledgeable of all!!!