[there's not so much to say. she hasn't had a breakthrough, exactly. she doesn't feel less torn up and conflicted about all of these feelings. but she's managed to put something about it into words and aquila understands what she means, and that at least seems to relax her.]
I hope so. I want this to be done, and to be free to make my own decisions again. I would want to save Mollymauk because I love him, but I also - I can't do it alone. I can't. I can't lose the people who let me be something other than the Reverend Daughter, because I am not capable of envisioning who that is without them.
[ for the two of them that's a fairly impressive milestone, actually.
they glance over at her again, and huff, softly, tone warming up a little, enough that it's probably obvious he's smiling a little. ]
I think that's a good thing. [ at not being able to envision only being her title, anymore.
... ] ...And, I'm not, either. [ they don't specify, whether they're unable to envision her, or maybe unable to envision someone else with a similar title, and who they are underneath it, but perhaps its both. ] It's like I said a few weeks ago. You've grown a lot, Harrow. All those steps forward you've taken are steps forward, even if we stumble.
I think you're your own worst critic. [ just putting that out there. ] But I think you have. Even when we attempt to grow a beautiful garden, weeds will always find their way in. You don't set the entire thing ablaze because of a brief shock of monkshood poking up between your peonies.
[ as if aquila knows anything about gardening. unfortunately he knows a lot about metaphors and flowers so here we are. ]
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I hope so. I want this to be done, and to be free to make my own decisions again. I would want to save Mollymauk because I love him, but I also - I can't do it alone. I can't. I can't lose the people who let me be something other than the Reverend Daughter, because I am not capable of envisioning who that is without them.
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they glance over at her again, and huff, softly, tone warming up a little, enough that it's probably obvious he's smiling a little. ]
I think that's a good thing. [ at not being able to envision only being her title, anymore.
... ] ...And, I'm not, either. [ they don't specify, whether they're unable to envision her, or maybe unable to envision someone else with a similar title, and who they are underneath it, but perhaps its both. ] It's like I said a few weeks ago. You've grown a lot, Harrow. All those steps forward you've taken are steps forward, even if we stumble.
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I don't know that I have. I don't know that I like this person.
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I think you're your own worst critic. [ just putting that out there. ] But I think you have. Even when we attempt to grow a beautiful garden, weeds will always find their way in. You don't set the entire thing ablaze because of a brief shock of monkshood poking up between your peonies.
[ as if aquila knows anything about gardening. unfortunately he knows a lot about metaphors and flowers so here we are. ]
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[so the metaphor doesn't work. well, except that she's not dumb and knows what they mean.]
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[
shut up aquila. they're clearly teasing though. ] It might do you some good to learn, though, all things considered.
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[ it's not about needing a classical knowledge of flowers but it is in fact about spite and being the best at things ]
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[ bad ]
Though, maybe your own metaphorical garden shouldn't be one of them.