[ of course it is. you're doing amazing, sweetie. they actually snort when she repeats the comment, ducking their head to muffle their laughter. it's very genuine. ]
I like that confidence of yours! Well, I don't know shit about skeleton wrangling or whatever the hell it is you do, but maybe the Host'd come down for a bone-off.
If the host would like to have a "bone-off," I would gladly accept.
[she also does not think the host will be coming down for a bone off but he should. so it's fine that aquila is laughing at her because actually she's right.]
...Yes, I know. But I will continue to demand it, because it makes me feel better to recall how ridiculously inequitable these situations are for those of us who use what I suppose you might call "magic" as our primary tool rather than brawn, and how I will still prevail anyway.
Ask Lup, I never stopped demanding she give it back the entire time at the space station. Though there at least it made some sense, as necromancy does not typically work well in space.
Yeah, kinda sucks, doesn't it. I bet someone told you you should learn self defense back at the other place you were in, or something equally useless.
[ no bone magic here. ]
You do seem like the type to keep asking. We'll just have to keep saying no, no matter how cool it would be to see you go bone hand to bone hand with somebody.
Yes, they did. And yes, it was useless advice. Even if I learned how to throw a punch or some nonsense, it isn't going to change my physical circumstances.
[she's not just scrawny for lack of muscles, she's built like a sickly person.]
Yeah, you kinda look like a stiff breeze'd blow you over.
[ like one of her skeletons... ]
And y'know, if I've learned anything about you in the past couple weeks, it's that you're stubborn. [ that comes with a laugh. ] But, hey, the more people underestimate you, the more you just give em hell with that big brain of yours.
True. Just gotta catch em like a rat in a trap, but, then again, I'm not the brains of any operation, so, I wouldn't really know. But I'll keep that secret for you. [ hehe ] Don't worry.
[ they pause, tilting their head back and forth briefly. ] ... The winning foot's always the first to climb. I'm sure you've weighed out all the options of going for it already, right?
their tone softens a little. ] ... I don't think "I don't want to kill someone" isn't justification, really. But... well.
[ they make a thoughtful noise, looking away from her for a moment. ] Sometimes - sometimes, the duty put on your shoulders, or your origin in life, or whatever, sometimes that determines what you're supposed to do, but, sometimes it determines what you can't do, too. What you want, and what you can't want.
Kind of stuck between the head and the heart. Right? Except the heart still knows what you're supposed to do, too. It's a shitty position to be in.
[she nods her head slowly, automatically; this isn't a lesson she needs to hear, exactly. her entire life has been about duty. but it helps all the same to understand that aquila understands.]
My duty is clear, and has been since arrival. I would prefer to refrain from taking someone else's life, and I would prefer to live, but that isn't the option afforded me here. Even prioritizing caution that I not be caught is an inexcusable dereliction, given the circumstances.
[she sighs out.] Choosing between the head and the heart has never been my problem. It is only recently that I have considered the latter to be a choice I had the freedom to make, and I can't help but feel resentful to have the freedom taken from me once more.
[ they nod along, listening to everything harrow's saying. any of their usual sort of casual mannerisms are gone. ]
... I get that, too. [ this answer's a little quieter. ] And no matter how many times you guys look at your longterm, whatever it's gonna be, it doesn't change the immediacy of now, either.
Genuinely - I'm sorry, you got sucked back into this. I know it doesn't mean anything, but sometimes it's nice to hear.
Well. I won't waste your time in theatrics about it.
[baby is making a fuss about not wanting to kill people and die, gross. she seems to collect herself a bit.]
...Tell me this. I do get the sense you are encouraging me. That isn't unusual. In the last place we were in, my Avatar also encouraged me to do murders, but it was because he intended to feed us to a furby.
Can't just be encouraging? [ this comes out very dry, but. they lean against the counter, tilt their head up to look at the ceiling, veil tilting with the movement. ]
I can promise you there's no 'furby' at the end of the road. [ would that be fucked up or what. ] It's less about encouraging murder and more like... well, if I were in your shoes, I guess.
When faced with a choice like that, I think I'd choose the option of seeing a duty through, no matter how much I hated it. I'd do it smart, but I'd still do it. [ absently, they rub their thumb into their palm. ] I can't do anything in this situation but try and give you perspectives to consider, and talk through your options with you, if you want to talk through them.
But there's no quota or hungry monster or anything like that. Just a contract that has to be fulfilled.
[ a beat. ]
And you're not wasting my time, Harrow. You couldn't.
That we're evaluated at the end based on whether we provided sufficient entertainment could suggest that our host will be disappointed if there isn't enough murder.
[she chews her lip.]
No, I can believe you are just speaking as to what you would do. And I find your frankness refreshing, honestly. I've talked to Lup and Mollymauk, and they are both dear to me, but they both...are approaching this so sentimentally. I think the sense of duty you and I have are somewhat foreign to them, though I don't intend that as a smear on their character.
[ they continue their absent movements, thoughtful. ]
...yeah. I think it's important to have both kinds of people in your life. Sentimental and frank. You get too much of the sentimental, you lose track of reality. Too much of the other, and... well. I feel like we both know what that's like, too.
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I like that confidence of yours! Well, I don't know shit about skeleton wrangling or whatever the hell it is you do, but maybe the Host'd come down for a bone-off.
[ the host would not come down for a bone off. ]
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[she also does not think the host will be coming down for a bone off but he should. so it's fine that aquila is laughing at her because actually she's right.]
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well they totally lose it at harrow saying bone-off ] Harrowhark! [ HELP ] Ohhh, man, imagine we use the theater for that!! A bone-off!
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they laugh, reaching up to rub under their veil. ] Hooo. That's not how that works, unfortunately.
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...Yes, I know. But I will continue to demand it, because it makes me feel better to recall how ridiculously inequitable these situations are for those of us who use what I suppose you might call "magic" as our primary tool rather than brawn, and how I will still prevail anyway.
Ask Lup, I never stopped demanding she give it back the entire time at the space station. Though there at least it made some sense, as necromancy does not typically work well in space.
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[ no bone magic here. ]
You do seem like the type to keep asking. We'll just have to keep saying no, no matter how cool it would be to see you go bone hand to bone hand with somebody.
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[she's not just scrawny for lack of muscles, she's built like a sickly person.]
Quite. I am stubborn.
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[ like one of her skeletons... ]
And y'know, if I've learned anything about you in the past couple weeks, it's that you're stubborn. [ that comes with a laugh. ] But, hey, the more people underestimate you, the more you just give em hell with that big brain of yours.
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[she can compensate for her physical weakness with bones otherwise. anyway, she'll give a slight smile.]
I do intend to, though between you and I, a big brain only goes so far when someone much stronger than you is trying to kill you.
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True. Just gotta catch em like a rat in a trap, but, then again, I'm not the brains of any operation, so, I wouldn't really know. But I'll keep that secret for you. [ hehe ] Don't worry.
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That. [ ... ] Hoo, yeah. That'd do it.
[ they pause, tilting their head back and forth briefly. ] ... The winning foot's always the first to climb. I'm sure you've weighed out all the options of going for it already, right?
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[she chews on her lip.]
I know that you're right. If anything, I'm procrastinating. There's no justification for it.
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their tone softens a little. ] ... I don't think "I don't want to kill someone" isn't justification, really. But... well.
[ they make a thoughtful noise, looking away from her for a moment. ] Sometimes - sometimes, the duty put on your shoulders, or your origin in life, or whatever, sometimes that determines what you're supposed to do, but, sometimes it determines what you can't do, too. What you want, and what you can't want.
Kind of stuck between the head and the heart. Right? Except the heart still knows what you're supposed to do, too. It's a shitty position to be in.
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My duty is clear, and has been since arrival. I would prefer to refrain from taking someone else's life, and I would prefer to live, but that isn't the option afforded me here. Even prioritizing caution that I not be caught is an inexcusable dereliction, given the circumstances.
[she sighs out.] Choosing between the head and the heart has never been my problem. It is only recently that I have considered the latter to be a choice I had the freedom to make, and I can't help but feel resentful to have the freedom taken from me once more.
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... I get that, too. [ this answer's a little quieter. ] And no matter how many times you guys look at your longterm, whatever it's gonna be, it doesn't change the immediacy of now, either.
Genuinely - I'm sorry, you got sucked back into this. I know it doesn't mean anything, but sometimes it's nice to hear.
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[baby is making a fuss about not wanting to kill people and die, gross. she seems to collect herself a bit.]
...Tell me this. I do get the sense you are encouraging me. That isn't unusual. In the last place we were in, my Avatar also encouraged me to do murders, but it was because he intended to feed us to a furby.
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Can't just be encouraging? [ this comes out very dry, but. they lean against the counter, tilt their head up to look at the ceiling, veil tilting with the movement. ]
I can promise you there's no 'furby' at the end of the road. [ would that be fucked up or what. ] It's less about encouraging murder and more like... well, if I were in your shoes, I guess.
When faced with a choice like that, I think I'd choose the option of seeing a duty through, no matter how much I hated it. I'd do it smart, but I'd still do it. [ absently, they rub their thumb into their palm. ] I can't do anything in this situation but try and give you perspectives to consider, and talk through your options with you, if you want to talk through them.
But there's no quota or hungry monster or anything like that. Just a contract that has to be fulfilled.
[ a beat. ]
And you're not wasting my time, Harrow. You couldn't.
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[she didn't really think there was a hungry monster at the end, but...]
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[ there's a faint smile in their voice, briefly, but it returns to business. ]
All the terms and agreements are already laid out for you guys.
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[she chews her lip.]
No, I can believe you are just speaking as to what you would do. And I find your frankness refreshing, honestly. I've talked to Lup and Mollymauk, and they are both dear to me, but they both...are approaching this so sentimentally. I think the sense of duty you and I have are somewhat foreign to them, though I don't intend that as a smear on their character.
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[ they continue their absent movements, thoughtful. ]
...yeah. I think it's important to have both kinds of people in your life. Sentimental and frank. You get too much of the sentimental, you lose track of reality. Too much of the other, and... well. I feel like we both know what that's like, too.
Gotta strike a balance. You know?
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