[i truly wish this memory had gone to someone who would be kind to rupert but lepus has never had nice encouraging words for anyone in their life, their only advice is that life sucks so move on.
anyway, the silence drags on, and then—another memory plays.
The girl asks you why you're here, and you tell her bluntly: to kill her.
She isn't frightened or upset. Instead, she smiles. She tells you that she's relieved. That she's been waiting for someone to come and save her. For her family and friends to survive, she can't be allowed to live.
So, she's glad that you're here. She asks it of you directly.
"Please kill me."
(The same words your sister told you, so long ago.)
You raise your knife, prepared. There's no reason for you to hesitate. Taking lives, innocent or not, is something you're all too used to.
(You try not to see your sister's face in this girl.)
She isn't done yet, though. With that same gentle smile, she says that she's grateful to have met someone kind at the end of her life. You smile back, but with none of her softness. How are you kind, you ask. You know you're the furthest thing from it.
But even as you ask, you know what she's going to point out.
You're crying. Tears flow down your face, for this girl who is a complete stranger. You'd never heard of her before this day; if you'd passed her on the street, you wouldn't have paid her even a glance. She means nothing to you.
It's what makes this all the more cruel, frankly. A normal, unremarkable girl like this, whose only crime was misfortune. And for that, the penalty is death. To save the world, she must die; and as always, you cannot help but feel disgust for this very world that you're supposedly protecting.
Alone with this girl, who will not live past the hour, your walls finally break down.
Sorry, you tell her, your voice hoarse and your heart painfully aware of your weakness in this moment. Useless and powerless as you are--
"I can't save you."
"It's not your fault."
"... I'm sorry."
"You're saving me from this pain."
"... I'm sorry."
"You're saving my family."
"... I'm sorry."
You're running out of time, she tries to tell you.
You know.
You can't delay it anymore.
Because ultimately, you are not kind but cruel, and you can strike down this girl when you couldn't do the same to your sister. In the next moment, your knife slits her throat, and she disappears, thanking you. Dies, smiling.
You don't understand why. Nothing you did was worth her gratitude.
In the end, as always, you're just trash. (So worthless that you can't even save this single life.) Whether it's frivolous callousness or meaningless kindness--you're nothing but a hypocrite.]
[after it ends, he opens his mouth to ask something, concerned - but then he realizes lepus is probably going to just leave if he asks something too personal, so he hesitates instead. after a second:]
...Can I ask you something? If you don't want to answer, you don't have to.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[but here comes the stardust and oops memory time!!]
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well how the fuck are they supposed to react to this.]
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for his part, he's backing up a little and dropping his face into his hands. he'll be fine. he just needs a second, probably.]
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...Sorry.
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[but it probably becomes clear he doesn't actually know what to say about the actual memory apart from that the longer the silence drags on.]
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anyway, the silence drags on, and then—another memory plays.
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...Can I ask you something? If you don't want to answer, you don't have to.
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lepus is looking very, very tense. kind of like a cornered animal, actually, as their hand goes into their sleeve.]
What.
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...What was going on with her?
[it's probably better to phrase it that way instead of "why did you have to kill her", he imagines.]
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She was someone who had to die for the world. That's all. [...] You're better off not poking too much into our lives.
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...Seems like you did it the quickest way you could.
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so sorry for this but lepus is finally removing their hand from their sleeve—to point a knife at rupert's throat.]
You really should think about keeping your mouth shut, sometimes.
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You're not going to kill me.
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You're lucky it wouldn't be entertaining for the boss.
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[rupert]
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