[she pulls her knees closer and rests her head against them, hugging them close with her free hand.
she hears it. she hears him tell her all of this and she just sighs out, tears finally dripping down her face. she hates how many times this place has made her cry.]
I don't - I don't know how to let them. [pull her to the surface.]
aquila shifts a little closer to her, keeping a hold of her hand, like they can be the one to pull her up. there's a little coaxing in their voice, gentle, even if it's sort of the blind leading the blind, here. they can try. ]
You had just started. [ when all of those words came tumbling out, earlier. ] If I tell you that I want you to talk to me about something, will you try, for me? It's a start. If you're weighted down by a thousand stones, let me take away a hundred.
[it helps. with someone else it might feel condescending, but she can take the lifesaver he's throwing out to her. she trusts him - he earned it, what feels like so long ago.]
[ aquila appreciates the fact that lup understands him because he is truly doing his goddamn best at this exact moment and sometimes his best comes out a little condescending because he is functionally useless as a human being when it comes to talking about things but he is trying
...it's also clear, too, that he appreciates it, because the tension in his shoulders loosens a fraction, and he exhales. okay. ]
... Talk to me about - Emet-Selch. Hades. [ setting the molly piece aside, for now. ] You were upset, when they talked over using the stars on Claude's case. [ they could tell. ]
[he is doing his best! she knows him, she knows this is hard. she's also stupid like this.]
I wasn't - upset. So much. [she says, finally.] I like Claude a lot. And... and it worked out.
But - nobody tried, with Hades. Nobody ever tried. And it doesn't matter how weird it was with this one, or how I couldn't quite figure out how to work with this version of him. I care.
worked out is definitely a phrase, but there's more to dig into with the rest of it, so. they nod, leaning back against the desk and settling in to listen. ]
He did a lot for you, back in the station - what I read, at least. [ aquila is definitely here and aquila and just sometimes has to mind that. ] Despair did, anyway. Something like an anchor. Right?
[it worked out because if she had caught molly she would've died]
Mmhm. Sometimes. [sometimes not. sometimes he drove her fucking crazy and she didn't want to be anywhere close to him, but.] Miles was more, towards the end, as far as Avatars go. I couldn't give up my morality for Despair.
he can pretty clearly tell why at the end, he wasn't much of an anchor, and it has very little to do with lup finding her way with others. he strokes his thumb absently over the side of her hand again, unconsciously. ]
So of course you care. [ quiet. he thinks lup would care no matter what. ] It seemed like he was leaning on you here, instead of the other way around.
But...[ anyway. ] You still did your best with it, though. I don't think that's surprising; and that connection makes it still hurt to lose someone. Not to mention, even if you didn't know him that well, - like you said. The fact that no one tried would have been upsetting already.
[ even if it turned out okay, in the end. for reasons. ]
Edited (i didnt notice this ate half my tag until i accidentally refreshed this tab instead of the town meeting hello) 2022-07-17 22:36 (UTC)
[ they squeeze her hand a little, at that, and there's something just a touch affectionate in their voice. always had a thing for the people nobody else tried with. ]
Always had a way with finding those people, too.
[ lup's radar for lonely people who put up a good front is truly incredible. he listens as she continues, and then nods. ]
I agree. [ coming as a surprise to no one, but, yeah. ] I think... 's been a long few weeks, but we've probably talked about something like that before. [ well. not here, but, "aquila" wouldn't remember a conversation about selfishly wanting certain people to survive, so. sticking to that front, for now. ] Did you figure out it could have been him, quickly? You were the one who looked Emet-Selch over.
Can't confirm or deny either way, but, it's a solid line of thought. [ sweats in the date of this thread
anyway. there's a little pause, brief, and she'll hear them exhale, like a long sigh, leaning back against the desk. ] ... A few weeks ago, I had a conversation with someone about these kinds of actions, and about telling the people who care for you, and not telling them, and what it means to weigh those decisions. Obviously, some factors come into play that prevent those things, considering the nature of the hotel.
It's hard for the people who are left to discover it and pick up the pieces, after the fact, too.
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guestservices) wrote2022-06-09 12:18 pm
no subject
she hears it. she hears him tell her all of this and she just sighs out, tears finally dripping down her face. she hates how many times this place has made her cry.]
I don't - I don't know how to let them. [pull her to the surface.]
no subject
aquila shifts a little closer to her, keeping a hold of her hand, like they can be the one to pull her up. there's a little coaxing in their voice, gentle, even if it's sort of the blind leading the blind, here. they can try. ]
You had just started. [ when all of those words came tumbling out, earlier. ] If I tell you that I want you to talk to me about something, will you try, for me? It's a start. If you're weighted down by a thousand stones, let me take away a hundred.
no subject
Okay. [a hiccup.] I can try.
no subject
...it's also clear, too, that he appreciates it, because the tension in his shoulders loosens a fraction, and he exhales. okay. ]
... Talk to me about - Emet-Selch. Hades. [ setting the molly piece aside, for now. ] You were upset, when they talked over using the stars on Claude's case. [ they could tell. ]
no subject
I wasn't - upset. So much. [she says, finally.] I like Claude a lot. And... and it worked out.
But - nobody tried, with Hades. Nobody ever tried. And it doesn't matter how weird it was with this one, or how I couldn't quite figure out how to work with this version of him. I care.
no subject
worked out is definitely a phrase, but there's more to dig into with the rest of it, so. they nod, leaning back against the desk and settling in to listen. ]
He did a lot for you, back in the station - what I read, at least. [ aquila is definitely here and aquila and just sometimes has to mind that. ] Despair did, anyway. Something like an anchor. Right?
no subject
Mmhm. Sometimes. [sometimes not. sometimes he drove her fucking crazy and she didn't want to be anywhere close to him, but.] Miles was more, towards the end, as far as Avatars go. I couldn't give up my morality for Despair.
But at the start, he helped.
no subject
he can pretty clearly tell why at the end, he wasn't much of an anchor, and it has very little to do with lup finding her way with others. he strokes his thumb absently over the side of her hand again, unconsciously. ]
So of course you care. [ quiet. he thinks lup would care no matter what. ] It seemed like he was leaning on you here, instead of the other way around.
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[she says, maybe a little helplessly amused.]
It was so different it made me squirm.
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Tell me about it.
[ bruh ]
But...[ anyway. ] You still did your best with it, though. I don't think that's surprising; and that connection makes it still hurt to lose someone. Not to mention, even if you didn't know him that well, - like you said. The fact that no one tried would have been upsetting already.
[ even if it turned out okay, in the end. for reasons. ]
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as for the second part.] ... Yeah. Always had a thing for the people nobody else tried with, I guess.
[a beat.] It doesn't matter. Molly's safety is more important to me, right this second. Selfish as that is.
no subject
Always had a way with finding those people, too.
[ lup's radar for lonely people who put up a good front is truly incredible. he listens as she continues, and then nods. ]
I agree. [ coming as a surprise to no one, but, yeah. ] I think... 's been a long few weeks, but we've probably talked about something like that before. [ well. not here, but, "aquila" wouldn't remember a conversation about selfishly wanting certain people to survive, so. sticking to that front, for now. ] Did you figure out it could have been him, quickly? You were the one who looked Emet-Selch over.
no subject
I had a suspicion. I knew the book that Molly bought could do that. The strangulation, I mean.
no subject
Can't confirm or deny either way, but, it's a solid line of thought. [ sweats in the date of this thread
anyway. there's a little pause, brief, and she'll hear them exhale, like a long sigh, leaning back against the desk. ] ... A few weeks ago, I had a conversation with someone about these kinds of actions, and about telling the people who care for you, and not telling them, and what it means to weigh those decisions. Obviously, some factors come into play that prevent those things, considering the nature of the hotel.
It's hard for the people who are left to discover it and pick up the pieces, after the fact, too.