[ they've still got her hand, so. when she says that, he pulls it up, ducks his head, and kisses her knuckles, lingering there for a moment, and plaintively; ]
I want you to go home, too.
[ in so many ways, for so many reasons. if aquila had the power to whisk lup away from this entire place, he'd do it in a second. it's like he said, earlier in the week - i'd rather it be me. what a curse it is, to see familiar faces, trapped in this situation again. what a curse it especially is for lup, of all people.
he brings their hands back down afterwards, but doesn't let go. tactile in this affection week, tactile aquila. ] If I could spin the world backwards to make sure you got there, I would.
[ if she wanted the moon, he'd never settle for the stars. just, like this, there's nothing to be done. the same problem - taking on all the weight. ]
For now, I just - [ his fingers flex, a bit, and he squeezes again. ] - all I can do is catch you. You can let go.
[her expression crumples a little when he kisses her knuckles, because affection when she's feeling like this is almost on the edge of too much. she doesn't know what to do with herself. she wants to kick herself out of her own body, climb the walls, slam doors, something, but at the same time, she's so tired that just thinking about the effort it'd take makes her whole head hurt.]
... I can't, but I - I get what you mean.
[she says, finally, reaching with her free hand to rub the tears away from her face. no big theatrics, no nothing, she just can't stop the heat from escaping.]
[ god, doesn't he. it's so shitty. this entire situation is so shitty. he wants to throw a fit a little bit, too.
aquila keeps a hold on her hand for now - resulting motions make him bump the piano keys a little bit, twanging two very wrong notes together in a way that's almost startling, on accident, and aquila glances down at it and lets out a tired, one note laugh, then strokes the side of her hand with his thumb. ]
I've never been any good at this. [ the music? the comforting people he cares about? the npc thing? the losing people thing? yes. ]
You know me. [ a little huff, wry if rueful. aquila, no matter what, is someone who takes a lot of risks.
...they nod, though - it goes unspoken, maybe, that he can't promise, but i need at least one person to be safe weighs heavy, and it's enough. ] But, I'll try. I can promise that.
[ as for the contracts question. ] ...Whether we do or don't, Lup, that doesn't matter. [ quietly. ] I'm sorry. I know that isn't what you want to hear - especially right now.
[ he shakes his head, enough that the veil shifts. ]
... It isn't. I know why you're asking, though. [ if he feels any of the ice in that tone, he doesn't show it.
...immediately, at least.
there's a moment of quiet. aquila reaches over and plunks a key on the piano with his free hand, and then another, someone who can't keep their hands still, in moments like this. it somehow still manages to sound out of tune but you know what it's fine. ]
no i'm kidding. this insult makes aquila laugh, a little - he pulls his hands up and out of the way and lets lup go.
... he really hasn't come to expect anything less from lup, but it's gorgeous. he falls silent, and then scoots a little closer to peer over her shoulder and watch her hands move on the keys, other arm falling behind her and resting on the piano bench.
... his eyes move from her hands to watch her instead, every now and then, stealing glances, but otherwise, he's a captive, attentive audience, quietly listening and soaking in the ability to hear it at all. ]
[ this is the worst, actually, and aquila hates it.
he just rests his head against hers and lets her continue to play, closing his eyes. it's so hard not being able to do anything more than this. just - being there, spending time with her, trying to be supportive, which is a role aquila's never really held before.
the least he can do is try and be some kind of an anchor, even like this. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
guestservices) wrote2022-06-09 12:18 pm
no subject
I want you to go home, too.
[ in so many ways, for so many reasons. if aquila had the power to whisk lup away from this entire place, he'd do it in a second. it's like he said, earlier in the week - i'd rather it be me. what a curse it is, to see familiar faces, trapped in this situation again. what a curse it especially is for lup, of all people.
he brings their hands back down afterwards, but doesn't let go. tactile in this affection week, tactile aquila. ] If I could spin the world backwards to make sure you got there, I would.
[ if she wanted the moon, he'd never settle for the stars. just, like this, there's nothing to be done. the same problem - taking on all the weight. ]
For now, I just - [ his fingers flex, a bit, and he squeezes again. ] - all I can do is catch you. You can let go.
no subject
... I can't, but I - I get what you mean.
[she says, finally, reaching with her free hand to rub the tears away from her face. no big theatrics, no nothing, she just can't stop the heat from escaping.]
no subject
[ god, doesn't he. it's so shitty. this entire situation is so shitty. he wants to throw a fit a little bit, too.
aquila keeps a hold on her hand for now - resulting motions make him bump the piano keys a little bit, twanging two very wrong notes together in a way that's almost startling, on accident, and aquila glances down at it and lets out a tired, one note laugh, then strokes the side of her hand with his thumb. ]
I've never been any good at this. [ the music? the comforting people he cares about? the npc thing? the losing people thing? yes. ]
no subject
You're doing fine with what you've got. [she says, after a moment.] Don't fly too close to the sun, now. I need at least one person to be safe.
... Do you all have contracts, too? The staff.
no subject
...they nod, though - it goes unspoken, maybe, that he can't promise, but i need at least one person to be safe weighs heavy, and it's enough. ] But, I'll try. I can promise that.
[ as for the contracts question. ] ...Whether we do or don't, Lup, that doesn't matter. [ quietly. ] I'm sorry. I know that isn't what you want to hear - especially right now.
no subject
[she says, a touch of ice to her tone.]
It's not worth it to argue with you, though.
no subject
... It isn't. I know why you're asking, though. [ if he feels any of the ice in that tone, he doesn't show it.
...immediately, at least.
there's a moment of quiet. aquila reaches over and plunks a key on the piano with his free hand, and then another, someone who can't keep their hands still, in moments like this. it somehow still manages to sound out of tune but you know what it's fine. ]
no subject
[she says, finally, and then nudges his hands away. she starts to play, instead.]
no subject
no i'm kidding. this insult makes aquila laugh, a little - he pulls his hands up and out of the way and lets lup go.
... he really hasn't come to expect anything less from lup, but it's gorgeous. he falls silent, and then scoots a little closer to peer over her shoulder and watch her hands move on the keys, other arm falling behind her and resting on the piano bench.
... his eyes move from her hands to watch her instead, every now and then, stealing glances, but otherwise, he's a captive, attentive audience, quietly listening and soaking in the ability to hear it at all. ]
no subject
she's still quietly crying, but at least she's moving.]
no subject
he just rests his head against hers and lets her continue to play, closing his eyes. it's so hard not being able to do anything more than this. just - being there, spending time with her, trying to be supportive, which is a role aquila's never really held before.
the least he can do is try and be some kind of an anchor, even like this. ]