It's been a very nice night. A much nicer night than you feel you have any right to, considering the things you've done so far - but your companion has always had a way of getting you to accept the help he offers, to get you to relax in his presence. With him, you can rest. You can just be.
Tonight, you are sharing some tea - which you know full well that he left for you as an anonymous gift, and you call him on with just enough subtlety to not outright say it but not enough subtlety for him not to realize that you know - and watching a movie. It's meant to be a scary one, but that suits you well enough. If you are "scared," then that gives him an excuse to hold you.
It's winding down, now. And the plot of the move seems to be wrapping up rather well. In fact - the characters within it seem happy, peaceful, despite what they've gone through to get to that point.
"...even horror stories can have happy endings," you breathe, quietly amazed.
"So they can."
"...do you think we can, too?"
You hope you can. You desperately need to believe that you can, because everyone here, trapped in this place, suffering - don't they deserve better than what they've got? This whole situation will likely get worse before it gets better, and you are nearly guaranteed to have a hand in that, but... for them, they deserve so, so much better.
The man at your side deserves that, too. He deserves a happily ever after, no matter how often he denies it.
You feel his fingers curl in the fabric of your sweatshirt.
"We will do our best to, ---- ----."
You breathe out.
Your own hope is slow and tentative, and - his is, too. But you can feel it, and feeling his makes yours stronger. Being here, in his arms, makes you feel stronger. Maybe you really will be able to find a way out of this. Maybe, somehow... you can do something to atone for the things you've done, the way you've hurt the others here.
"I am looking forward to the day we make that happen."
You don't know why, but - what you've said brings out a small spark of sadness in him, that you can feel, and you cling to him. It's sad and lonely and small, and you want to banish it.
"...I am, too."
But that small, lonely feeling is still there.
You shift a little in his arms and kiss his cheek.
While you've been talking, the movie has finished. The credits are playing, and neither one of you really makes much of a move to go - for your part, you're comfortable in his arms, and you hope that he's just as comfortable having you here. But once the credits are over... what then? You'll have to split up, won't you? You can hardly just spend the night here.
You are trying to figure out some way to make this last a little longer when he asks if you have brought a book you've been carrying around with you. A novel. It's there, among your things, and you say so; you ask if he would like to read it together. He agrees, and offers to go and pick it up for you.
Neither one of you moves. You are still holding onto him.
...he reminds you, gently, that you have to let him go, and you do so with reluctance, but he's back soon enough. When he returns, you arrange yourselves so that you are pressed close to his side, and his arm is around you. Like this, you can both see the pages, but he points out that last time, he listened to you more than he had actually read it.
So, you read the book aloud.
But cuddled up to him like this, warm and safe and secure in his arms, you start to relax. You start to get sleepy. And you don't want to sleep, because if you sleep, that lessens the amount of time you can spend with him. You keep going, even as you are obviously tired, even as you mispronounce some of the words you are reading aloud. He is relaxing, too, his cheek pressed against the top of your head as he listens to you.
You're so tired, and so relaxed, and he eases one hand over to close the book. But then he speaks, too.
"...do you want to stay?"
There is nowhere you want to be more than here with him, right now.
"Would that be alright?"
He adjusts, a little, one hand to your back to keep from jostling you as he reaches up to grab a pillow. "Mn." It's a quiet, agreeing noise that he makes. He settles you against him, and you curl up, using him as a pillow. You're vaguely aware of the way he pulls a blanket up around your shoulders.
He settles back fully, and you feel yourself drawn closer and closer to sleep.
"Rest well, my..." His voice trails off. His arm settles more firmly around you, and you relax further. He murmurs your name, and then adds: "...I'll be here."
That reassures you more than anything else possibly could.
It's been a long, long time since you've felt so reassured, but everything about him is reassuring. He is a man who keeps his promises, and if he swears to you that you won't be alone - then, you won't be. It's as simple as that.
And how you feel for him is...
"...I love you."
It's as simple as that, too. That's how you feel. It just is. You want him to know it - not by feeling what you feel, but by hearing you say it.
But in the next breath, you're asleep, and you don't hear his response.
You have no way of knowing that this will be the last night you spend together before he dies.
and yeah, her hand just passes right through them. they tense up and pull back, regardless.]
Don't - don't fucking - why the fuck are you apologizing. I don't need your pity or anything. All I need is for you to not say a goddamn word about what you just saw.
I'm not going to say anything. [wow this makes the shark much funnier if it actually is flayn] That was... that was way too personal, I'm not going to...
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
guestservices) wrote2022-06-09 12:18 pm
no subject
I suppose that makes two of us.
no subject
[you can't be polly you're not horny enough]
no subject
[and - hey! there's another shower of stardust!
virgo goes still and silent.]
no subject
Oh.
[she... reaches? she can't touch, i assume, but.] ... I'm sorry.
no subject
and yeah, her hand just passes right through them. they tense up and pull back, regardless.]
Don't - don't fucking - why the fuck are you apologizing. I don't need your pity or anything. All I need is for you to not say a goddamn word about what you just saw.
no subject
I'm not going to say anything. [wow this makes the shark much funnier if it actually is flayn] That was... that was way too personal, I'm not going to...
Um.
no subject
...just keep your mouth shut about it and we won't have any problems. [a beat.] I will be going now.
[
they shadowportal away im sorry]