[and then she tugs them closer and hugs them? it's fine. she leaves room for them to move away if they need to, but she is just going to hug them very tightly.]
well. this is a hug. she hugs them and they're not sure what to do, so there's a tentative hug back? maybe this will help?]
...it's over for today. You can rest now. [they say, completely unaware of what she's actually thinking and just. doing what comes natural at this point.]
they're not a mindreader, but they're not stupid. of course they know what she's saying. it's not their memories that've been messed with. they know this. they know this so intimately and without question, something that they've held onto for so long now.
"Be as much of a bummer as you want."
"I don't like to be, with you. A bummer, I mean."
"...you're allowed to be sad around me. I think I prefer the honesty than you trying to hide that you're hurting just because you don't want me to worry about it."
"I don't think that it's that I want to hide being sad, Ṧ̵̳̬̦̺̬o̴͉̦̓́̿̈́́̇͒̒̈́̕͝r̷̢͎̱͉͉̖̥̼̒͊̀͋̓́̒͗͗̔͜a̴̟͇͉͎̜͉̮̥͊̊̀̋̕͘., I just think you deserve to have one person who isn't going to fall to pieces on you and make you pick them up. You know?"
that's...how it always was. someone who thought they deserved more than they were getting, even if they disagreed, even if they weren't sure how to feel about it. that was a different lup. that was their lup, and this isn't that lup, but this lup remembers something from that lup which means...
...it can only really mean...
. . .]
...you say that like it's a bad thing. Or that you're constantly falling apart. You're not. [except they don't quite make it through that sentence before their voice cracks just a little and they quickly shut up again.]
[nooooo why would you do that??? they sort of ease into it, curled into her without being too clingy.]
...you are still very much her at the core of things. Hearts don't really forget. [they seem to rein it in after that though. right.] I'm sorry about everything that's happened. Getting other memories must've been frightening.
[and also, like, a lot of murder happened.]
...but if even a few good things came from it, that has to count.
It wasn't a walk in the park, but uh. [it'd been scary, they're right - thinking she was going to be overwritten. it hadn't been like that, though. the memories she has now, the things she's seen from other people here and there, they've all been helpful, in some way. getting memories from her other self has given her a little bit of insight into the person she wants to try to go back to being.
hearts don't really forget.]
I think you're right. I'd rather have this than not.
[it's okay. you're still you. despite everything.]
[they can stay like this for a while then. they should maybe move, but also, no. they can file this as a customer complaint and call it a day.]
Makes it a little easier, maybe. Knowing about people, and what things you might expect from them. ["what things they may not be saying, and what things may still be hurting that you can help them with."]
...even if you don't talk to me about how you're feeling today, promise me you'll speak to someone else.
[the customer complaint is this ding dang hotel is not treating her son right and she's going to pull it down brick by brick thanks]
I'll try. [she says, finally. that's really all she can promise - sometimes, she doesn't have the ability to. they're a little similar that way. other people hurt, and they put those people first, trying to hear what they're not saying.]
For tonight, though, I'm not going to dump all my issues on you. Tonight I just want you to hang out and nap with me.
[take just a little bit to breathe before getting back into it.]
[the hotel's fine. gemini doesn't plan on moving much until they have to, though they make themselves slightly more comfortable and are clinging a little less desperately to her.]
Even if I think we both might be a little too wired to sleep? [wry.] ...I would not be opposed to spending time with you though. Tell me about the other good parts of this week that you've managed to find.
[fine with her! she wiggles a bit to lean against the headboard, letting them settle as much as they'd like. she's still rubbing their back, too.]
Oh, for sure. I think I passed into another zone of existence a while ago. [she jokes. when you pretend to not be tired for so long that you just stop being tired and then die.]
... Cloud and Jason are good parts. [she says, absently.] Claude is a good person, too. I had a good talk with Rupert.
[they're going to lean against her very comfortably for cuddling, thank you.]
I mean we should try to sleep. Just maybe not right this second. [they listen though.] ...Cloud's a good person. I haven't talked to Claude much, but he must be if you think so. Rupert's smart even if he's pushing too much sometimes, and Jason's inquisitive enough that he may find information fast than he thinks.
Mmhm. Incredibly stubborn. [they say, as if they are not.] ...I do try to get a read on most of you whenever you speak with us. IT isn't always easy is all.
I think you're pretty good at it. Strength of yours.
[a little squeeze.]
I got a memory of a very stubborn boy telling me he liked me better than someone else and that he wasn't going to drop me the second he found something more useful while I was talking with Rupert, you know.
[they jump a little in surprise, a startled noise almost like a laugh.]
Then I suppose you will have to accept it as the truth. You may not be the same as what was remembered by others, but you have worth beyond that. For all of them.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
guestservices) wrote2022-06-09 12:18 pm
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Better.
[and then she tugs them closer and hugs them? it's fine. she leaves room for them to move away if they need to, but she is just going to hug them very tightly.]
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well. this is a hug. she hugs them and they're not sure what to do, so there's a tentative hug back? maybe this will help?]
...it's over for today. You can rest now. [they say, completely unaware of what she's actually thinking and just. doing what comes natural at this point.]
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[she says, quietly.] Can I tell you a secret?
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But naturally. What is it?
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I don't want to be a bummer with you. I think you deserve to have one person who isn't going to fall apart on you.
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they're not a mindreader, but they're not stupid. of course they know what she's saying. it's not their memories that've been messed with. they know this. they know this so intimately and without question, something that they've held onto for so long now.
that's...how it always was. someone who thought they deserved more than they were getting, even if they disagreed, even if they weren't sure how to feel about it. that was a different lup. that was their lup, and this isn't that lup, but this lup remembers something from that lup which means...
...it can only really mean...
. . .]
...you say that like it's a bad thing. Or that you're constantly falling apart. You're not. [except they don't quite make it through that sentence before their voice cracks just a little and they quickly shut up again.]
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her heart breaks a little. and then, gently:]
I know. I'm just making sure you have someone to lean on without any strings. [a pause.] I'll catch you. Okay?
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You shouldn't have to. [but then they pause. and instead:] I know you will. Never doubted that part.
[which is still true, even if part of it is maybe lost because they're busy hugging her. stop, don't look at them.]
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I'm still her at the core of things. [she says, after a moment. maybe dimitri was right.] Maybe this week wasn't so bad.
[it gave her a couple of memories that allowed for this.]
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...you are still very much her at the core of things. Hearts don't really forget. [they seem to rein it in after that though. right.] I'm sorry about everything that's happened. Getting other memories must've been frightening.
[and also, like, a lot of murder happened.]
...but if even a few good things came from it, that has to count.
[are....are they a good thing? sure.]
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It wasn't a walk in the park, but uh. [it'd been scary, they're right - thinking she was going to be overwritten. it hadn't been like that, though. the memories she has now, the things she's seen from other people here and there, they've all been helpful, in some way. getting memories from her other self has given her a little bit of insight into the person she wants to try to go back to being.
hearts don't really forget.]
I think you're right. I'd rather have this than not.
[it's okay. you're still you. despite everything.]
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Makes it a little easier, maybe. Knowing about people, and what things you might expect from them. ["what things they may not be saying, and what things may still be hurting that you can help them with."]
...even if you don't talk to me about how you're feeling today, promise me you'll speak to someone else.
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I'll try. [she says, finally. that's really all she can promise - sometimes, she doesn't have the ability to. they're a little similar that way. other people hurt, and they put those people first, trying to hear what they're not saying.]
For tonight, though, I'm not going to dump all my issues on you. Tonight I just want you to hang out and nap with me.
[take just a little bit to breathe before getting back into it.]
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Even if I think we both might be a little too wired to sleep? [wry.] ...I would not be opposed to spending time with you though. Tell me about the other good parts of this week that you've managed to find.
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Oh, for sure. I think I passed into another zone of existence a while ago. [she jokes. when you pretend to not be tired for so long that you just stop being tired and then die.]
... Cloud and Jason are good parts. [she says, absently.] Claude is a good person, too. I had a good talk with Rupert.
[it's always people.]
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I mean we should try to sleep. Just maybe not right this second. [they listen though.] ...Cloud's a good person. I haven't talked to Claude much, but he must be if you think so. Rupert's smart even if he's pushing too much sometimes, and Jason's inquisitive enough that he may find information fast than he thinks.
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Rupert pushes too much, huh? [a beat.] Those are pretty good reads on all of them, for sure.
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[a little squeeze.]
I got a memory of a very stubborn boy telling me he liked me better than someone else and that he wasn't going to drop me the second he found something more useful while I was talking with Rupert, you know.
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[stop, that just gives them license to cuddle more.]
...oh yeah? Sounds like it was something you needed to hear. Maybe he was onto something. [haha.]
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Maybe! Maybe he's a brat. [she teases, and then:] It was something I needed to hear. Now, I mean, me and not just her.
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Then I suppose you will have to accept it as the truth. You may not be the same as what was remembered by others, but you have worth beyond that. For all of them.
[themselves included.]
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Stop, you're embarrassing. [she says, muffled.]
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You cannot call me embarrassing just because I'm correct.
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I can, and I will! [...] You have to nap too, you know. When I do? Those are the rules.
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