AUDIENCE FOR: Lup

[guestservices]

mostly void, partially stars.

❤

Comments

[evocationary]

Wow, a totally predictable answer!

Anyway. Come help me. You don't have to eat any of this but I am going to make you spend time with me.

[guestservices]

Not worried I'm going to poison it?

[evocationary]

Oh, please, please poison it. That'd be hysterical!

[guestservices]

Which is to say, you'd be an even bigger pain in the ass if I did.

[evocationary]

Yes. Absolutely. There is no winning for you in this scenario.

[guestservices]

[a sigh]

Whatever. Maybe this'll get Vulpecula off my ass. Fine, one meal. Still not eating it, though.

[evocationary]

Yesssss.

Did Vulpecula yell at you for something?

[guestservices]

[they shrug.]

They think I don't work enough. Then again, they're not wrong.

[evocationary]

I was told you're surprisingly diligent.

[guestservices]

Maybe they're a liar. Or maybe I have my moments. You'll just have to guess which is the truth.

[evocationary]

You probably have your moments. Like me!

[she takes a few steps backwards to lead to the kitchen...]

[guestservices]

[they follow, but also, deadpan:]

I'm not seeing it.

[evocationary]

Seeing what, my moments? Spy on me more.

[guestservices]

Gross. Pass.

[evocationary]

That's what I thought you'd say!

[she's in here getting ready to just fuck around with the food - this is an excuse to get lepus to actually speak to her, so she doesn't have anything in mind.]

So what do you do, then? If you don't work or spy on people.

[guestservices]

[they would say "mystery" but then lup might actually think there's anything interesting about them and they clearly can't have that?]

Watch grass grow.

[evocationary]

Fascinating. How fast does it grow per hour? Centimeters? Inches?

[guestservices]

I see no reason to share the fruits of my endeavours with you.

[evocationary]

It's clearly what you're passionate about! I wanna knooow.

[guestservices]

It grows at a rate of 0.00003 cm per hour. There.

[they definitely pulled that out of their ass.]

[evocationary]

What color was it? [now she's just being annoying]

[guestservices]

Green.

[evocationary]

Are you sure it wasn't blue? I'm pretty sure grass is blue.

[guestservices]

Might I recommend seeing a doctor about your vision problems?