COURIER SERVICE.

[guestservices]

COURIER SERVICE

Today, when when Hope is just going about his business, he will suddenly feel a hand close around his arm and will find himself yanked into a room at random. The door shuts behind him with a sharp SLAM!

When he looks around, he'll find himself in a nondescript room in the mansion. It's got a table and two chairs in the center of the room, with three wrapped packages sitting on the desk. Each one of them has a different tag on it, but what the tag says is hard to tell from the distance.

Standing in front of him is Virgo, who lets go of his arm and gestures at the chairs.

"Sit the fuck down! You're bored, aren't you? So I have something for you to do this week."

Virgo then takes a seat in the chair on the other side of the table and puts their feet up on it like the rude shit they are, accidentally nudging one of the packages. They seem to be chuckling to themselves.

"Just watching is no fun! So I decided I'm going to spice things up a little, hahahaha. Pick one of these things and then give me three names! Of the living fuckers, no one here. And none of the hotel staff either! I'll make sure it gets to one of the three people you pick. Probably. Hahahaha, aren't I so helpful? Way more helpful than those other fuckers over there! You can thank me now."

N̸A̵V̴I̶G̶A̶T̴I̴O̸N̷.̷

█ LOCATIONS █ STATUSES █ PROFILES █ AUDIENCES
█ REPORTING █ PRIVATE CONVOS █ MURDER

Comments

TALK TO VIRGO

[guestservices]

[virgo is here, looking pleased with themselves. (or at least as pleased as it's possible to look with a veil.)]

DECISION

[guestservices]

[upon closer inspection, the tags on the packages have emojis on them!

one is a mouth emoji.
one is a house emoji.
one is a paper emoji.

please choose one package and three living people no later than wednesday at 5pm PST!]

[highestheim]

[ RUDE, HOPE WAS JUST GOING ABOUT HIS DAY... but once he gets over the initial shock, he actually settles into the role (haha) pretty quickly. he nods as he listens to virgo gives him the rundown with all his attention, but even he has to stop himself from rolling his eyes at their...virgo-ness.

once they're done, he stands and gives them a stern look, placing a hand on his hip as he does so. ]

So... do you want to be thanked or not?

[highestheim]

[ paper for claude, harrow, and rupert! ]

[guestservices]

[their virgo-ness is nonnegotiable.]

You can thank me for this. I just said you could.

[highestheim]

[ :nyeh: ]

Why the change of heart, then? Usually people aren't picky about the circumstances in which they're shown gratitude.

[guestservices]

I can be picky about whatever the fuck I want.

[highestheim]

[ ... he sighs. ]

All right, then—thank you, Virgo.

[ he can play along with this kind of game... ]

[guestservices]

Hahahaha! You're fucking welcome!

[highestheim]

I understand you can't give me full details on what these things will do—[ he gestures to the packages ]—but could you at least give me a hint? I'd like to know if I need to get some apology letters ready along with these.

[guestservices]

The clue is on there already! Look at the fucking tags and guess! Hahahaha!

[highestheim]

[ help ]

It's much easier to speak to you over text...

[guestservices]

[they scoff]

You can walk out of here and just write on the typewriter if you prefer. But I'll have to push you out of the way to write back.

[highestheim]

...

Can I ask you a more personal question, Virgo?

[guestservices]

[immediately, they tense up]

That depends on what it is.

[highestheim]

[ once again, he notes this reaction, but doesn't comment on it. ]

Why are you so abrasive? Even with your fellow staff members, it seems like you're not all that fond of them. [ ... ] I just don't understand. Some of us are truly grateful for what you've done for us.

[guestservices]

Some people are just like this! I am one of them!

[they huff.]

[highestheim]

. . .

Do other people truly bother you so much?

[ he's genuinely curious. ]

[guestservices]

Yes.

[highestheim]

[ me running back here like I DID MAKE MY CHOICE RIGHT AAA ]

Why, then, offer your services to us? ... Do you have a contract with our host, as well?

[guestservices]

[YOU'RE GOOD]

Hahahaha! I'm not telling you shit about that. This isn't about contracts or no contracts, it's about alleviating our boredom since we're stuck here.

[highestheim]

With as jovial as you are, I have a hard time believing you're bored.

[guestservices]

[they snort]

What? Did you just call me fucking jovial?

[highestheim]

[ help maybe im bad at words ]

I meant so far as with how you're always laughing.

[ even though it's never really been, like, humorous laughter. ]

[guestservices]

Sometimes all you can do is laugh.

[highestheim]

[ even though at this point i have already oocly made the choice, hope switches his focus from virgo themself to the packages set before him, getting a closer look at the labels on them, as if that'll tell him anything more about them. (it won't, but hey, he's gotta try.) ]

Why do you say that?

[guestservices]

Because it's fucking true!

[the labels are there. they just look like the described emojis.]

[highestheim]

Let me try again... why is that your philosophy? I'm afraid I don't quite follow.

[ yeah, he figured, but he doesn't want to look directly at virgo rn. they are being stinky >:( ]

[guestservices]

[yea they're stinky af]

It's my philosophy because I learned that it's fucking true.

[highestheim]

...what was with the task you gave me to heal Aikawa, then?

[guestservices]

What about it?

[highestheim]

Maybe I'm just overthinking it, but making people genuinely smile doesn't sound like the kind of thing someone with your worldview would ask for.

[guestservices]

No, but it's the kind of thing someone like me would assign someone like you to do for a bit of a challenge. [a beat.] Nerd.

[highestheim]

[ there is only the faintest hint of a twitch in his facial muscles when virgo says "nerd." ]

Are you implying I wouldn't know how to make people laugh?

[guestservices]

I'm saying that to someone watching from the outside, you don't look like someone who makes people laugh a lot, so it would look like a challenge. What, you think it was too easy? Should I make my tasks harder next time? Tch!