AUDIENCE FOR: Alphinaud Leveilleur

[guestservices]

this is a placeholder until you get us a funnier one

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[sageguidance]

Hm... 'Tis been naught but wine for me these last few times, so if there are no other suggestions, I believe I'll go for some mead, instead.

Barkeep, if you would!

[ Time for a mug, yaaay ]

[guestservices]

[there is something so funny to me about tiny, tiny alphinaud chugging a tankard of mead, but here we are. anyway, alphinaud is given his mead, and virgo casts a glance (or at least turns their head) in his direction.]

What— the fuck is mead, anyway?

[sageguidance]

[ wow leave him alone... he's a big boy :( ]

Oh—you've not had it before?

[guestservices]

No...

[another glance at the mead. (is it a wary glance? who knows - it's impossible to tell their expression with the veil.]

[sageguidance]

All is well, all is well—no need to feel ashamed.

Do you like honey? If so, 'tis likely you may enjoy mead.

[guestservices]

Who said anything about being ashamed?! I'm not fucking ashamed!

[they give a little huff, as if offended.]

Honey isn't bad. Give it here, I'm going to try it.

[order your own, asshole.]

[sageguidance]

[ He smiles, with a light chuckle. ]

Here— [ Alphinaud hands it out. ] You may keep it, if you wish. 'Tis no trouble for me to order another.

[guestservices]

Tha—

[they snatch the mead and turn away]

There's a catch, isn't there? There's always a fucking catch...

[sageguidance]

A catch?

[ he cants his head ]

Are you expecting one? I've no reason to expect aught from you.

[guestservices]

[they stare at him distrustfully. (maybe. it is really, really hard to tell with the veil.)]

There's always a catch.

[sageguidance]

What could I possibly coerce you into doing? Surely you cannot believe I am capable of making you owe me.

[guestservices]

Tch. That's just how it is. People act nice, but then they're like, hey! Fuck you! I acted like I was a saint doing things for the sake of doing them but now everyone owes me!

[sageguidance]

[ There's a pause as Alphinaud considers these words, then: ]

I... see you have been terribly wronged in your time. [ lmao. ] Pray worry not, Virgo. On my honor, I do indeed swear 'tis but only a friendly gesture.

[guestservices]

...

[they stare at him for a few long moments, as if wondering if he actually just fucking said that. oh my god. i wish to perish.]

...if you're lying to me I'll fucking eat you.

[sageguidance]

[ look, me too? me too. i'm crying.

But, yes. Alphinaud looks briefly alarmed. ]

Eat? [ WHAT ] I told you, I promise!

[guestservices]

...fine.

[they sip at the mead]

[sageguidance]

[ ... haaah... ]

What do you think?

[guestservices]

I don't hate it.

[sageguidance]

Hah—mayhap you will come around to it in time. 'Tis a widely popular drink from whence I hail.

[guestservices]

...where do you come from, anyway. [takes a long sip of mead.] Not that I fucking care. But tell me.

[sageguidance]

[ is this tsun behavior ]

The region of Eorzea, on a star called Etheirys. I would be surprised were you to know either name, however.

[guestservices]

[who knows]

Haven't heard of either of them, no.

[sageguidance]

As expected, but that is fine. As you may expect, I am not familiar with the vast majority of lands I hear others speak of, either.

[guestservices]

Hahahaha, don't get out much?

[rude. they sip at the mead.]

Why'd you call me here, anyway?

[sageguidance]

A pleasant chat, is all. I do wish to get to know the lot of you better.