[ yeah. YEAH. luckily there are some good fighters among the dead but... still. ]
... And that was very sweet of you. But it didn't really tip the scales on how bad this place is.
I guess it... [ hrm. how to say this in a nice way? ] It felt easier to deal with the ones who didn't seem like they were taking their 'job' here that seriously.
Yeah, I know. [...at least they don't seem offended or anything when she says that. it's not like they aren't aware of how this looks, after all.] ...I get it. I'm not, like, mad or anything. I don't know how to make this easier either.
[a pause.]
...you and Hope are the only ones who know on this side of things. And it has to stay that way for now. I do have to keep doing my job.
but good, clementine does look a little relieved that he says he's not mad. even if she still feels... very conflicted about all of this. like she can't decide if it means she can relax or if it's just a new stress factor.
her strategy right now is to not really address that. ]
...Lup and Cloud both do. But I don't know if they've told each other they know and that's probably better, too. Cloud told me on Monday he knew it was me. Lup remembered me last Saturday.
...I don't know. But it's better that as few people know as possible right now. And I don't know, I think...they have a different relationship right now. And Lup's still Lup, but she's a different Lup still. So it's fine if they haven't told each other. I don't expect them to.
[they wisely do not tell her that they have remembered memories from another game they don't entirely recall.]
I'm always going to be me, even if...[even if they very clearly are not acting like themselves.]
It's been years for Hope, too, so I think that might be something that happens for certain people. I don't know how long it's really been for me. Time's really confusing where I was before this. But I don't think it's been years, or even months.
So I am. [they don't really know how either.] ...I understand that not everyone appreciates my job, but I am slightly grateful for the employment opportunity.
[which is really just "i get people are pissed, but i'm kinda glad to be alive again and here."]
they can't exactly lie to her, so uh. you know that like nervous laugh they do when they don't want to tell the truth but things are Not Chill? that happens.]
[ even with their memories the same it still really feels like they can't talk to each other. not the same way. not from the same page, and not as openly.
and even saying that seems kind of hard. or maybe just depressing.
so she just reaches for their hand again, frustrated. ]
But nothing. [...] I still can't really...but more than I can over there. This is a dream, right? So...so there's more I can do here because it's different.
[so yeah. they can't openly talk or brainstorm or even work together the way they used to, but they can try to at least be themselves a little more.]
that is to say. this is someone who is a giant sap, and so hearing that kind of really takes all of the wind out of their sails for the time being.]
...I miss you all the time. Ever since you got here, and even before that. [because literally not being able to tell her when he they knew she was worried about stuff and also dealing with a bunch of au versions of people she was close with.]
I'm not gone yet. So just talk to me however you want or feel like you can. [they tilt their head.] You've kinda gotten pretty good at reading me when there's stuff I can't say anyway.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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It still doesn't make sense, but at least you're busy and...you know. Not going on weird adventures.
[. . .]
Wait, why did you keep fighting with me? [hey!!]
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[ and she's not sure how she feels about someone like... kazunari getting stuck in a cyoa. ]
It was funny.
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You're the worst. And I gave you nail polish and everything.
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... And that was very sweet of you. But it didn't really tip the scales on how bad this place is.
I guess it... [ hrm. how to say this in a nice way? ] It felt easier to deal with the ones who didn't seem like they were taking their 'job' here that seriously.
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Yeah, I know. [...at least they don't seem offended or anything when she says that. it's not like they aren't aware of how this looks, after all.] ...I get it. I'm not, like, mad or anything. I don't know how to make this easier either.
[a pause.]
...you and Hope are the only ones who know on this side of things. And it has to stay that way for now. I do have to keep doing my job.
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but good, clementine does look a little relieved that he says he's not mad. even if she still feels... very conflicted about all of this. like she can't decide if it means she can relax or if it's just a new stress factor.
her strategy right now is to not really address that. ]
Do more people know on the other side?
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...Lup and Cloud both do. But I don't know if they've told each other they know and that's probably better, too. Cloud told me on Monday he knew it was me. Lup remembered me last Saturday.
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Does anything... Happen if people know?
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[ she thinks about this for a second and decides she doesn't want to try to figure out what's going on with lup and cloud. ]
... I'm glad you remember me.
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Why would I ever forget you? [they sound so surprised.] I've, um. Kinda thought about you a lot since we left.
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Well, if you weren't the same you... I guess. Since that's a whole thing that can happen.
[ but, actually ]
How long has it been for you, anyway? Because Bucky said it's been years for him, and for me it's only been a couple of weeks.
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I'm always going to be me, even if...[even if they very clearly are not acting like themselves.]
It's been years for Hope, too, so I think that might be something that happens for certain people. I don't know how long it's really been for me. Time's really confusing where I was before this. But I don't think it's been years, or even months.
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And you're just... Here now.
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[which is really just "i get people are pissed, but i'm kinda glad to be alive again and here."]
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Better than the alternative.
[ like at least they're not. a guest instead??? ]
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[at least they can still talk to her, and the others who have gone, they mean.]
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[ rate your stress on a scale of 1-10! ]
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they can't exactly lie to her, so uh. you know that like nervous laugh they do when they don't want to tell the truth but things are Not Chill? that happens.]
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Thought so.
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[they were a player, back then, instead of being on staff.]
But at least all of my memories are the same. So that's a plus.
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[ even with their memories the same it still really feels like they can't talk to each other. not the same way. not from the same page, and not as openly.
and even saying that seems kind of hard. or maybe just depressing.
so she just reaches for their hand again, frustrated. ]
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But nothing. [...] I still can't really...but more than I can over there. This is a dream, right? So...so there's more I can do here because it's different.
[so yeah. they can't openly talk or brainstorm or even work together the way they used to, but they can try to at least be themselves a little more.]
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But it still feels like I miss you.
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that is to say. this is someone who is a giant sap, and so hearing that kind of really takes all of the wind out of their sails for the time being.]
...I miss you all the time. Ever since you got here, and even before that. [because literally not being able to tell her when he they knew she was worried about stuff and also dealing with a bunch of au versions of people she was close with.]
I'm not gone yet. So just talk to me however you want or feel like you can. [they tilt their head.] You've kinda gotten pretty good at reading me when there's stuff I can't say anyway.
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