AUDIENCE FOR: Sheila Hammond

[guestservices]

Comments

[guestservices]

[hm.]

...tips won't be necessary. [they do not entirely seem sure of that though.]

[toesies]

Maybe it's not. But consider this: I want to tip you.

[guestservices]

You would be among the few and the first. Is there a particular reason why...?

[toesies]

Well, first of all, I like being nice. Second, people who don't tip are assholes.

[guestservices]

You would be correct. [they just come out and say so.] On the contrary, Mrs. Hammond, we are meant to accept all tips that come to us. We cannot afford to be picky.

[toesies]

[... She frowns.]

Even if someone tried to give you a dead rat?

[guestservices]

Have you seen any rodents in this hotel?

[deadpan. that is to say, unlikely scenario.]

[toesies]

It was an example. But fine, a polaroid of a dead rat?

[guestservices]

[sheila may get the sense they are closing their eyes.]

It wouldn't be the worst tip, I'm sure.

[toesies]

... The bar is that low, huh?

[guestservices]

Indeed. [. . .] Needless to say, we must continue with our jobs, tip or no tip.

[toesies]

... Right. Well, I'll try to find something nice for you anyway. You can say whatever you have to say, but I doubt you guys are totally cool with everything that's going on.

[guestservices]

Is that what you think?

[toesies]

Is this where you tell me I'm wrong?

[guestservices]

I'm not going to tell you anything, Mrs. Hammond, because it isn't necessary for doing my job.

[toesies]

And you only do stuff that's necessary for doing your job, huh? No exceptions?

[guestservices]

A job is a job, and I plan to do mine to the best of my ability.

[toesies]

That's what I thought you'd say...

[guestservices]

And what precisely does that mean?

[toesies]

You're really dedicated to your job.

[guestservices]

...yes, well. Someone has to be when it's important to other people.

[toesies]

... Other people being us, and our hostages?

[guestservices]

[they shrug!]

I wouldn't concern yourself too terribly, Mrs. Hammond.