AUDIENCE FOR: Sheila Hammond

[guestservices]

Comments

[guestservices]

Well, we've exchanged words now.

[toesies]

We have. So let's exchange some more. Like, for example, what are your thoughts on tipping in the hotel industry?

[guestservices]

You're an asshole if you don't.

[toesies]

Then we're on the same page. So what kind of stuff do you want to see in your tip jar?

[guestservices]

I'd say money, but none of you have any.

[toesies]

Just another fun side effect of having all your possessions taken away from you. Next best thing?

[guestservices]

[they shrug.]

Something practical. I don't have any use for sentimental things.

[toesies]

So... stationary, maybe? Clothes? [She squints.] What's considered "practical" can be really wildly different depending on who you ask. Do you have any hobbies?

[guestservices]

[they sigh.]

Capitalism is so much easier than this.

[toesies]

Agreed. People say giving money as a gift is lazy, but I happen to think it's genius. You don't spend hours at W*lmart agonizing over what to get them, they buy whatever the fuck they want, and everyone's happy.

[guestservices]

Yeah. It might be the thought that counts but thoughts don't pay the bills or crap.

[toesies]

Exactly! And Irish linen napkins might seen like a lovely wedding gift, but they're not going to pay our mortgage.

[Why is this so specific... After a beat, though.]

... Is paying your bills something you worry about often?

[guestservices]

[that's

so specific]

Don't most people worry about money?

[toesies]

To varying degrees. You can be worried about money, or you can be worried about money, you know?

[guestservices]

[they shrug.]

Without money, you can't live.

[toesies]

Believe me, I know. Being out of a job is not fun.

[guestservices]

Yikes.

[toesies]

It's okay. My boss was a dick and now I run my own company, so it all worked out.

[guestservices]

And how's self-employment going for you?

[toesies]

It's the best decision we've made actually. No one mansplains lock boxes to me anymore, and I get to decide my own hours.

[guestservices]

Oh, deciding your own hours does sound good.

[toesies]

It is! So if starting your own business is something you're interested in, you should definitely give it a try.