Yes. [a slightly wet laugh.] I was always dreadful to him. My parents killed his father. [...] They didn't only kill him, they demanded that he kill himself, and he did it without question.
All Ortus cared about was his poetry, and I forced him to be my cavalier, and I put him in the situation that eventually led to his death for my own personal, petty reason. He would have been well within his rights to hate me.
[tmw i want to have vulpecula say more but i don't know what
so. they start to say something (though, again, i don't know what would be), and a convenient shower of stardust cuts them off.
You wake up.
It's another day in this place, and you - you're tired, but you know you can't just stay in bed all day, so you resolve to get up. It takes you a moment, because the pillows and blankets are really more comfortable than they have any right to be.
You sit up, swing your legs over the side of the bed, and stand -
"AUGH!"
And fall, because it isn't legs, plural, anymore. It's leg. One leg. You're missing one of your legs, and you really don't have anyone to blame for it but yourself. ...yourself, and the hateful situation you went through, that wretched creature that got ahold of you, but -
No. It's your own fault. Your actions led to that particular outcome, and you shouldn't blame others for it.
One must take responsibility for the things they do, after all.
Gritting your teeth, you use your arms to push yourself back up into a sitting position, then hold onto your bed to keep your balance as you get up on one leg. You have the feeling you'll get scolded if you get caught hopping around, so you'll have to figure out something to use as a crutch. But you'll figure it out. You've always been more resourceful than most people give you credit for, you remind yourself.
Even your brother would be astounded - and you hope, a little impressed? - if he saw what you had accomplished without him.
...one step at a time. This missing leg won't keep you down for long.
[they seem. a little awkward? embarrassed, maybe? who wouldn't be embarrassed over someone witnessing them forget they were missing a leg and falling over. damn.]
I know what you mean. There are times when I've - well... of course I would always rather that the people I care about are somewhere far away from danger. But I think if there is danger, it's better for people to face it together and support each other, than it is for one of them to have to sit and wait.
[they sigh.]
...to be unable to do anything but pray for someone's safe return is its own form of torture. It's better to be at their side, even if it's dangerous for you both. I can't really think of anyone as selfish if they think like that, because I'm the same way.
For the longest time, the only person I trusted was my brother. But - once you do find people you can put your trust in... it's one of the most wonderful feelings in the world.
Yes. I don't have very much experience with putting my trust in people, other than those who owe an oath of loyalty to my House and family. Which is more of...a trust in their honour rather than a trust that I matter to them.
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All Ortus cared about was his poetry, and I forced him to be my cavalier, and I put him in the situation that eventually led to his death for my own personal, petty reason. He would have been well within his rights to hate me.
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so. they start to say something (though, again, i don't know what would be), and a convenient shower of stardust cuts them off.
...vulpecula goes very still and very quiet.]
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I thought so. But we do not need to speak of it.
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[they seem. a little awkward? embarrassed, maybe? who wouldn't be embarrassed over someone witnessing them forget they were missing a leg and falling over. damn.]
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These memories are inconvenient at times.
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[they sigh heavily.]
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I'm glad.
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You are?
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[me, terrified now?]
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[something something "hotel staff can't be your friends"]
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[they sigh.]
...to be unable to do anything but pray for someone's safe return is its own form of torture. It's better to be at their side, even if it's dangerous for you both. I can't really think of anyone as selfish if they think like that, because I'm the same way.
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Being alone is unpleasant, and difficult. It has never been easy for me to trust in strangers.
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For the longest time, the only person I trusted was my brother. But - once you do find people you can put your trust in... it's one of the most wonderful feelings in the world.
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You've got good people here with you, Harrow. You'll be okay. You all will.
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I do hope you're correct.
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