illomened: (snowdrop)
the real tuberculosis joe ([personal profile] illomened) wrote in [personal profile] guestservices 2022-07-21 09:04 pm (UTC)

w6 thurs

[With some hydrangea petals tucked in!]

Dear Mikazuki Munechika,

I am sorry to bother you with this. It is a personal matter and nothing so important, especially given the timing and what may lie ahead. Still, I wished to say something in the event that we are so fortunate to cross paths someday, because I know that you will understand.

There is no longer a place for "the me that exists now" in the world that I love so much. I had thought at first that I would be able to find someplace else, or exist between worlds in some way. I do hold many people dear, both here and from that castle, after all.

But I have come to realize in my time away that this separation would become too painful for me to bear, later or sooner, but almost surely. I am not a good person. My heart is weak and selfish. I am not like Kondo-san or Hijikata-san or even Yamanami-san, who can make those difficult decisions and save so many lives. If given the ability and choice, I would protect my small world before even considering a far-off future. So I will remove that choice.

There is one last thing that I must try at all costs to do, but if all goes well, I will rest after. I only ask that you spare a thought for me so that I might be remembered with some kindness. In the meantime, I will continue to work hard to help those here return to the places they belong.

Please stay safe and take care.

With sincerity and my warmest regard,
Okita Souji

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